This week has marked the realization for Michael and I that very soon we will go from a family of two, to a family of three. And that adjustments and changes will need to be made. These revelations have made us anxious and excited. Our focus has shifted somewhat from our life right now to our life in 3-5 weeks as we prep for a baby.
In the midst of all this we have been saddled with additional stresses. I am getting more emotional which comes with increasing hormones and less sleep while Michael deals with a lot of stress at his job while he tries to do the job of two men in a normal workweek (his coworker was let go). My increasing need for his presence has been met with an empty house as he tries to accomplish everything that has been put on his task list. And his stress becomes my stress, further pushing me into a more emotional state as my mind races during the night when I should be asleep.
I ordered some of my favorite children's books from Amazon the other day and when the package arrived, I flipped through each book lovingly and excitedly, imagining the day when I hold my child and read them that story. This imagery and other imaginations fill my thoughts as I wash clothes, make lists, and perform any other kind of baby prep I can think of to occupy my time until my husband comes home.
This time occupation for me and busyness for Michael finally came to light this week. We have both forgotten to live in this moment, to live in the now. We keep looking ahead to when I deliver and Michael can take time off to be home with the baby and me. But we need to not forget the time we have together right now. It has been settling upon me the actualization that there will be no more "quick run to the store" or "stopping by Target." I will be having this baby in the winter, which means it will be cold and my pediatrician has advised us not to leave the house unless we actually have to, since sickness reigns during the winter months. Michael and I will not be able to just take a Saturday afternoon to go snowshoeing, or for a winter hike. We will be a little housebound for awhile. Because of this I have been feeling this increasing need to spend more time together out of the house.
We need to enjoy these days as they are, just the two of us. Even with all the stress or lack of sleep, because each day is such a gift. I keep being reminded of the verse in Matthew 6:25-34 where God speaks to us about not worrying and to "not take thought for tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself." And it will, and it will be God's perfect plan as according to Jeremiah 29:11. I know God is orchestrating our lives right now. We can't wait to meet our little bundle of Joy, but we can't forget the joy we have today, and everyday. Michael and I love living an adventure, and having this baby is certainly going to be an adventure. I want these last few weeks to be our adventure for just a little longer. Baby, I am so excited to meet you, but tomorrow, your mama is going to live for tomorrow, because you will be here soon enough!
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