Short Update - Carson

Thought I'd update everyone on Carson's stats from his pediatrician appointment since that didn't make it into his 1 month post.  

He is now 10 lbs 7 oz, which puts him in the 70th percentile for weight.  His head circumference and length are still only in the 50th percentile.  He is now 21.5 inches long.  He really is growing like a weed and is doing great.  The doctor only had positive things to say.  Carson was officially 5 weeks yesterday (1/1/2014).  Where has the time gone?  In the words of my mother-in-law, "the days are long, but the years are short."  So true!  

Carson's First Outdoor Adventure

First of all, no judging us!  :-)

But Carson had his first real outdoor adventure this week.  Saturday afternoon we took him snowshoeing.  We made sure he was bundled up really well and then headed up the Big Cottonwood Canyon right after a feeding.  He did great.  It helps that he likes being in the front pack and sleeps whenever he is in it. 

We didn't go very far or very long.  We didn't even need to put our snowshoes on because so many people were up there and had already broken a trail for us.

It was pretty cold though so we had to keep an eye on Carson's cheeks to make sure he wasn't getting too cold.  He slept the whole time so he must not have been uncomfortable at all.

It was much needed, especially for this outdoor starved mama.  I absolutely love snowshoeing and man, I could tell that I haven't worked out in forever.  I was so out of breath going uphill.  I can't wait to be more active.  And I do really need my time outside.  Now that he is bigger I have been bundling him up for walks every day, to just get a little fresh air and sunshine.

See what I mean?  Loves to sleep in that pack.  :-)

Carson -1 Month

My little Carson Boy, you are 1 month already!!  I had to pick a place in our house to take your monthly photos and I decided on our recliner.  You look so small in it right now, but I know you will grow up quick.  I put your little bear in the picture with you for size comparison.  :-)

At one month old, your hair is still sandy blonde and your eyes have stayed blue so far.  Your doctor says that all babies' eyes are this gray-blue color initially and that they will change later, but I hope they don't.  I don't see how they can since Michael and I both have blue eyes.  

You are becoming so alert and attentive!  You seem to be settling out with some of the stomach issues, which makes mama really happy.  She has been able to eat some dairy and it doesn't seem to be bothering you at all.  

You are burping so much better, at least during the day.  Night time still is hard to get you to burp without waking you up completely.

We were able to go out to the mall and then to lunch afterward with Michael's parents and you were so good!  Every other time we have put you in your car seat for awhile you would fuss and cry.  It makes mama realize there is hope for being able to go out with you in the future! 

Mama is really starting to love being home and taking care of you.  Not that she didn't like it before, but you are starting to be so sweet.  A couple times she even thinks she got you to smile.  

You are starting to turn towards voices, noises or toys that are spoken or shaken by you.  You are also starting to look at mom while you are nursing.  It is so cute. 

Everyone who sees your daddy holding you says how much you look like him.  Although we pulled out some baby photos of mommy and you do look a little like her when she was a baby.  

You are starting to form a schedule.  You have been eating every 3 hrs recently and have been wanting to go to bed around 9ish every night.  Then you sleep until 2ish in the morning and then sleep again til around 6am.  You have been very consistent with the 2am and 6 am wakings, no matter what time you actually fall asleep.  Dad usually takes you at 6am so that mom can get one more hour since you are up during the night and you make so much noise while you are sleeping that mom wakes up constantly. 

Everyone knows when you poop.  It is so loud and explosive.  :-)  And it never fails that 5 minutes after we change you, you will poop again.  Or poop on the changing table, you really, really like to do that.  

You are still a very busy boy.  You like to look at things, but only for so long, then we had better change things up! 

You got your first case of diaper rash this week.  Some cream cleared it right up but for some reason it worried your mommy.  Although your mommy worries about everything now.  :-)

You like being in the stroller and the front pack.  Mom and dad have been able to go for walks with you all bundled up and that has been so nice.  Mommy needs her time outside! 

We have had to give you a pacifier because of your fussiness, and you like it a lot, but you don't love it.  When you are done with it, you are done and you won't take it anymore.  Which is good because Mom worried about nipple confusion and having to break you of a pacifier later, but that doesn't look like it is going to be a real issue. 

You are growing so fast!  Some of your 0-3 month clothes are getting tight and you have a newborn onesie that I think you are out of.  

Mama has been reading about schedules and trying to figure out what you need.  There are so many baby books out there claiming the best way to schedule your baby or to not schedule, but you definitely need something.  As soon as we starting instituting some kind of schedule you began sleeping better.  What seems to be working for you is a combination of babywise and then just attachment parenting.  

We realized that a lot of the reason you could be fussing is because you might be cold in our house.  The downstairs area of our house stays very cold for some reason even if the upstairs is very warm.  We figured this out when we put you in a nice little fleece outfit for going outside and you quieted right up and just laid there and looked around.  We call it your coma suit because it puts you in a comatose state. 

You love baths.  And you are so adorable in the bath.  You just love sitting in the warm water.  It stops you from crying instantly.  I think you are going to like the water.

You don't have your pediatrician's appointment until Monday next week, when you are almost 5 weeks due to the Christmas holiday so I don't have weight and height stats to put on here, but you have definitely grown.  Maybe I'll have to come back on and edit this post after that appointment.

Life with Carson - By Sara

Whew, I don't know how to explain it, but time just goes so slow, yet flies by at the same time.  Carson is now 3.5 weeks old and it seems like he has been here forever!  Our days are filled with naps, diaper changes, and feedings.  We are still pretty sleep deprived, or at least I am.  I have been trying to let Michael sleep through the night since he has to work during the day.  This kid has a 6th sense though, whenever I lay down to take a nap, he wakes up.  It is fail proof.  Which means a very, very tired mommy.

All bundled up for the trip to the Doctor

At Carson's last pediatrician appointment he was at 9 lbs 2 oz, which was half a pound gained in a week!  The doctor only had positive things to say about all of Carson's development.  His exact words were "whatever you are doing, keep doing it, because he is doing great!"  Which was good to hear, because as any of you mom's remember being a first time mom, having a newborn is very nerve-wracking and you don't really know if you are actually doing anything right or not.

He overall is a pretty good baby.  He is a little fussy.  He gets pretty bad gas and some of the reflux every now and then.  We aren't sure if it is something I am eating or if it is just the fact he is only 3.5 weeks old and his digestive system is still maturing.  He also just likes to be moving.  He does not like to sit  or lay still at all!  I have to constantly be changing things.

Michael helps out as much as possible.  When he has the time or a chance, he takes Carson in the morning or evening so I can try to catch another hour of sleep.  He has been carrying Carson around in the front pack lately when I need a break, since Carson always needs to be moving.

My boys.  :-)

Carson was so content when I was carrying him around in the Moby wrap last week.

Our little Christmas tree.  Can't believe Christmas is almost here!

So cute, I love this outfit his Grandma and Grandpa got him.  He has a bear on his cute little butt!

He is so strong already!  The doctor told me I could start doing some tummy time with him and he can already roll from his tummy back to his back!  But I think that is more due to the fact he can raise his big head high up and then the weight of his head just pulls him over.  :-)

Overall, life with Carson is great.  We love him so much.  It is so hard though for both of us to sit at home all day with him.  We wish we could take him more places or do a few more things, but he is just too little and we don't want to risk him picking up any kind of sickness anywhere.  But we know he is going to grow up quick and soon enough he will be waving goodbye at his first day of school all on his own, so we are trying to enjoy all the time at home with him as much as possible.

Carson's Birth Story - Part 2

Well, we left off where the nurse had taken Carson off my belly and had taken him to do his Apgar scores.  During this time, my midwife was delivery my placenta and stitching me up.  I was trying to relax and gain some strength back.  I was pretty beat and was so exhausted that I was still having trouble opening my eyes and moving at all.  Michael and the nurses had to tell me what was going on with Carson after they brought him back.

While his scores were getting done (He had great Apgar scores, an 8-9) they noticed he was breathing quickly and was what they called grunting, flaring, and retracting (GFR, grunting noise, flaring his nostrils, and retracting his belly/lungs too quickly).  They were concerned about this and starting telling Michael that Carson needed a little help.  So they gave Carson two CPAP's because they thought maybe his lungs weren't inflating all the way.  Well, when they were doing that, they got air in the poor guy's stomach and then had to pump the air out.  So he had a very traumatic experience right from birth.  After these things failed to help the GFR, they let me have him back to see if a little skin to skin contact would help him calm down.

He was pretty worked up by this point and they really didn't let me hold him too long before they said that he needed to go to the nursery to see if they could help him and to get him cleaned up.  They wouldn't let me try to feed him because he was breathing too quickly and they didn't want the chance of milk getting into his airways and him aspirating.  I was just so out of it that I didn't even think to demand that Carson stay with me and just bond and rest skin to skin with me to help him.  I was so tired and Michael and I didn't know any better.  My midwife said later she almost stood up to the doctor and nurses because he was such a big healthy boy and all he needed was some down time, but she didn't.  Then again, her focus was still me and getting me up and running again.  Michael went with Carson to the nursery and my midwife finished stitching me up and cleaning me up.  Then she had to leave (she was actually off that day).  The nurse helped me order some food but I couldn't really eat.  I was still so tired and shaking so bad and I wanted to go to the nursery to see Carson.

This is where I was so happy I didn't have an epidural.  I would have had to have a catheter put in and I wouldn't have been able to get in a wheelchair to go to the nursery right away.  When I got there, they scared Michael and I even more because (of course) Carson's glucose levels had dropped (which were perfect at birth) because he hadn't been able to eat in over two hours and he had been screaming his head off.  They still wouldn't let me feed him because he was still GFR so they said he HAD to go to the NICU for an IV.  That was something they couldn't do in the nursery.  Again, Michael and I are first time parents and had no idea what to do so we listened to the doctors.  They took Carson to the NICU for an IV and they had me go to my room to get some food and rest a little.  By this point I was turning a little gray and was lightheaded.  I really should have eaten right after delivery, but I just wanted to get to Carson.

After eating some lunch we headed back over to the NICU and were informed that Carson was stable and on an IV.  Once his breathing finally settled we could try to nurse or pump some milk and feed it to him.  The other reason they wanted Carson in the NICU was that they were worried it could be something other than fluid in his lungs, like an infection or that his lungs hadn't developed fully.  After a blood draw and some X-rays they confirmed that Carson just had some fluid in his lungs that he needed to get out.  We found out later that babies who come out quickly tend to have a higher occurrence of still having fluid in their lungs because it doesn't have as much time to be pushed out as they come through the birth canal.

Anyway, they told Michael we could hang around as long as we wanted but they suggested that I go and get some rest.  They said that Carson would not be eating tonight so I should just rest up and let them take care of him.  Well, I found out later that they did give Carson a bottle and kept giving him bottles because he was hungry.  When a nurse finally noticed on his chart that I wanted to breastfeed, she called me to come down and try to nurse him.  By then he was so confused and didn't know how to suck.  The bottles they gave him literally just basically poured the milk into his mouth.  Not to mention, that if he ever fussed they just gave him a pacifier.  So double nipple confusion.  I ended up just pumping for him the whole time we were in the hospital, just so my milk would come in and that he could be off formula.

On Thursday, we pleaded with the NICU doctor to discharge Carson to our room so we could work on breastfeeding and just be close to him.  He wouldn't do it, saying Carson still needed to be monitored one more day to make sure his glucose levels stayed good.  By this time his breathing had normalized completely and they were lowering the dose on the IV every 3 hrs.  Thursday afternoon he was completely off the IV. Thursday into Friday were rough because Michael and I wanted to try to nurse Carson and be there for every feeding, which was every 3 hours.  But by the time we scrubbed in, tried to nurse, failed, gave him a bottle of colostrum, and then went back to the room to pump more, we had only an hour between feedings.  Not to mention, the NICU were nazis about how much he had to eat.  Those of you ladies who have had babies before now that they don't eat a lot of colostrum to start and that your body doesn't produce a ton of it.  The required Carson to eat 45 mL of food every 3 hours, no matter what it was.  At first I couldn't pump 45 mL of colostrum and they were making me supplement the rest with formula, even though he had eaten over 30 mL of colostrum.  After that first feeding, I don't know if it was mental, but my body magically began producing over 45 mL of colostrum every 3 hours, so the nurses didn't supplement with formula anymore.  On the flip side of this, because I was pumping so much my milk came in super heavy.  Not joking, I could have fed three babies.

We were so happy on Friday morning when all Carson's labs came back clear and the doctor said we could take him home. Unfortunately, we still had no experience breastfeeding so we ended up having to call a lactation consultant to come to our house on Sunday night because we had to start giving Carson bottles again because he wouldn't eat.  His first week home was rough, but we knew it was going to be anyway.

And now everything is fine and he is doing great.  He is growing like normal and doing everything a newborn should.  Yes, Michael and I were, and are, still very frustrated with how this was handled but we understand that it is better to be safe, than sorry.  We would have felt terrible if we did fight the doctors to keep him in our room from the beginning and he did end up having an infection or something up with his lungs.  People have asked me if I will give birth in a hospital again after this experience, and I'm not sure.  Probably.  Mostly just because birth is a little messy and I don't really want to clean up after.  :-)  We'll see, I'm content to just have Carson for awhile.  My body is definitely not ready to be pregnant and go through labor and delivery again any time soon.

Carson - 2 Weeks

My little Carson is 2 weeks old already.  I won't keep doing week posts like this, but I really wanted to post a little bit about his development in the past week and some cute/fun things he does.  It is amazing how much of his little personality is already showing and how much he has grown and changed in a week!  I also wanted to share a little of how we are both doing 2 weeks post delivery.

About Baby and Mama:

Baby and Mama and doing really good.  We are finally learning each other.  I didn't really understand bonding until early this week.  You hear the term "bonding" in the hospital and you have the baby and of course you think you bond, but I guess we didn't really until this past week.  I completely understand what that term means now.  Mama is started to feel fully recovered, although exhaustion keeps her from still doing a lot.  That lack of sleep makes it so hard to get motivated to clean or cook something when he actually lays down for a nap.  I was so excited about going for walks with him, but it is just too cold.  If the temp gets above 40 anytime soon I will probably bundle him up and head out.  His car seat protects him really well with that cover I made.  Mama is just really starting to miss some fresh air!  She has been cooped up for 2 weeks now.  She really wants to go out to some Mom group Christmas activities, church, or bible study, but you are just so little and she doesn't want to risk you getting sick.  I can't imagine what having a sick newborn would be like. Yikes. 

Nursing is finally under control as well.  Although his hunger cues aren't by the book.  And he has grown so much already, Michael and I can both tell by how his clothes fit.  So we know he is getting enough to eat.  I don't know if it is just nursing, but Mama has been able to shed the majority of the pregnancy weight already, which I think helps her to not feel so tired.  There are definitely still pounds to go, but at least I'm not going to be trying to lose 15+ pounds. There you have it!  In the next couple weeks, Mom hopes to return to yoga and start getting some exercise again.  

Carson - 2 Weeks Old:
So my little Carson Boy...

You are getting snugly, as you can see in the above picture.  He especially has starting snuggling with Mom.  When you are fussy and want to be held, Mama can pick you up and you just bury your little head in her shoulder or chest and stop fussing.  You were such a floppy newborn before but we can tell you are actually enjoying being held and want to be held certain ways.

No more projectile poop, but getting peed on is always a risk.

You will NOT burp.  Which can be so frustrating.  Mama will spend 10-15 min trying to coax a burp out of you to no avail. Then you have bad reflux or need to picked up 10 min after I laid you down because you have gas or your tummy hurts.  This is especially frustrating at night.

You love getting your diaper changed...minus the wipe part.  But whenever I lay you down you down in the changing table you get so excited and you stop crying for some reason.  Although if I lay you down anywhere else, you still keep crying.  And you love having your clothes off.

You graduated to Size 1 diapers already!  Mom noticed that you were starting to leak and break through all your newborn diapers.  The size 1's look a little big on you, but they seem to fit all right.  You are definitely growing like a weed.  Many of the sleepers you couldn't wear when we brought you home, you are able to fit in now. Mama is excited to hear your weight from the pediatrician today!

You are the loudest sleeper...ever.  You will scream, grunt, cry, moan, wail, and whine in your sleep, waking me up long before you are actually ready to get up and eat.  I'm not sure how much of this is due to the reflux or just being a newborn.  But it is really hard for me to get some sleep.  You have even been sleeping some four hour stretches lately, but I still only get to sleep for about 2.5 hrs of those thanks to all his noise. :-)  You also still aren't a huge fan of getting put down to sleep, but Mom and Dad are slowly watching that get better as we keep trying to lay you down when you fall asleep.  Of course, Mom still lets you take at least one nap sleeping on her during the day, she knows you are going to grow up so quick and won't want to sleep with Mom forever.

Mama has started noticing that you usually take one longer nap in the afternoon, breaking your 2 hour feeding schedule to 3 hours (or more if mama would let you).  She is still only letting you sleep 2-3 hrs during the day so that we can get a day/night schedule established.

Mama is finally figuring out how to use her Moby wrap and you like it.  You almost always fall asleep in it and at least I have one hand free to do something.  Plus, she likes having you so close and you seem to like being close as well.  You will sleep in there for hours.

You are such a picky nurser.  You like to eat every 2 hrs, then every 3, then back to 2, then you go to bed and don't eat for 4 hrs.  Mama's poor milk supply seems to be keeping up okay, but it is hard to tell how much you are getting and if you are emptying Mama out so she can keep making more!

About the time Dad comes home every night, you decide it is time to fuss.  And then Dad gets to walk you around for an hour and a half. Otherwise, during the day you are a pretty chill baby. Poor dad doesn't get to see the cute, fun Carson. 

Mama has started trying to do tummy time with you, to help your reflux and also to give you a break from being on your back all the time.  And you are a STRONG baby!  If she puts you on your tummy you can already roll back onto your back! And you can hold your head up to look at things Mama put in front of you, like your favorite book (just start color contrasts).  When we are holding you, you hold your head up all the time.  We are wondering if this means that you are going to be a fast sitter, crawler, and walker.  Mama isn't sure how she feels about that.  

Carson's Birth Story - Part 1

Carson is 2 weeks old at 1:30pm today!  I thought I would start sharing his birth story. I hesitated whether to actually share or not, but I decided I'm going to.  It is pretty long, but the ending is happy, even if there was the NICU snag (Part 2).  This post is brutally honest.  I'm not trying to scare anyone from a natural birth, now that I have done it, I will most likely do it again, but it was difficult for me at least.  But I thought I would preface that I did it!  Roughly 24ish hours of labor (if you count Tuesday morning) and I didn't use any pain medications or pitocin.  I'm also not making anyone feel bad for getting an epidural.  I asked for one, several times.  But I was able to do it.

You already know that I went (sort of) into labor on Tuesday morning, early and then then 5 minute surges (contractions) stopped after 7 hrs at around 10:30am.  After my midwife's appointment, where I was informed I had an induction scheduled for Black Friday at 6am, Michael and I just ran some errands and went to the grocery store to grill steaks for dinner.  The surges starting coming back, at a very irregular schedule, around 4 pm.  After dinner, I noticed they were starting to get regular again, around 7-9 min apart.

By 10pm, they were back to 5-6 min apart, and they stayed that way all night long.  I wasn't really able to sleep in between the surges, so I was basically up all night.  I did let Michael get some sleep when I didn't feel like I really needed him.  I took two hot showers and just practiced breathing and relaxing through the surges.  They really weren't bad, but they were intense enough that I just couldn't sleep.  At around 1:30 am, I tried to get up from bed where I was trying to rest and my water broke.  I figured that the surges would start to get closer together and more intense after my water broke, but they didn't.  They stayed 5 min apart until I called my midwife at 4:30am.  She kind of wanted me to stay home and continue to labor until they got closer together, but by now, I had been laboring for over 12 hours.  She finally just advised us to go to the hospital and get checked in and that we would be having a baby that day (Wednesday the 27th)!

We got to the hospital at 5:45am and got all checked in.  I was only 4 cm dilated, but was completely effaced.  My midwife ad told me to get in the jacuzzi right away to try to get me relaxed enough for my labor to progress.  In about 30 min, I could tell my surges were much closer apart, although from then on they never told me how close they were.

We alternated between the jacuzzi, birthing ball, and bed for laboring positions.  Michael was amazing.  He was there for each and every surge, helping me relax, helping me breathe, and pushing pressure points.  By around 9:30-10am am, I was 8 cm dilated and started to struggle.  I was very tired and was having trouble opening my eyes and really focusing on anything, even relaxing.  I was kind of getting to a point that I didn't want to go on anymore.

I wish I could say I was so strong during this labor and delivery and brought Carson into this world without making a scene, but I would be lying.  Starting around 10-10:30am I began begging for relief.  I won't go into too many details but the next 3 hours, Michael, my nurse and midwife had to help me through each contraction and provide so much support.  I was crying through many of the surges and really began sounding (either sighing, groaning, moaning, etc) through each one.  It was the only way I could get through them.

My midwife moved me to the jacuzzi and had me lay down, with the jets at my back.  I'm not sure what time this was, but it helped a lot and I had to kind of remind myself that I was strong and that I could get through this and that many women had.  I did a lot of praying in that tub.  When I finally got too hot and had to come out, I was 9.5 cm dilated, but I stayed there.  My surges didn't end, but we just couldn't seem to get me past 9.5cm.

My midwife had me try various positions to get more relaxed and get past that last 0.5 cm.  It just didn't work, and at the time, Carson was still pretty high up the birth canal and needed to come down quite a bit more.  I believe it was after noon right now that my midwife had me start breathing Carson down. I spent about 45 min doing this.  It was kind of like pushing, but not really pushing, it was more apply pressure with each surge.  All of a sudden, he was down and I started pushing.

My midwife had me get in position to push Carson out and he was out in less than 30 min.  Some women told me this was the easiest part, well, lets just say that it was the hardest part.  At this time, I was so tired and so far gone that I had trouble even opening my eyes and I couldn't even feel the contractions anymore.  My midwife and nurse had to tell me when to push. And Carson came into the world at 1:30pm.  Michael announced that he was a boy!

My midwife put him up on my belly, and Michael cut the cord, but the nurse came and took him away really quickly for his Apgar scores.  This is where part 2 starts because they scared Michael and I and said that our perfect little son wasn't breathing well and needed to go to the NICU.  When I actually get a chance I will share part 2.  :-)

Carson - 1 Week Old

Carson was one week only on Wednesday.  I thought I would post some pics of his first week. 

My mom and Carson

I was so thankful my mom could come out!  I don't know what we would have done without her.  Well, we are definitely more sleep deprived now that she left.  Thanks Mom!

Daddy and Carson

Michael has been adjusting to being a father exceptionally well.  Even better than me I think, although I think hormones are messing with me a little.  Mood swings after delivery are alive and well people.  So glad my mom and Michael were around for support that first week.

Carson had his first bath at home on Monday.  

The first week, when he was alert, he would look around and make faces.

I really wanted a pic of the three of us before my mom left.

Me and my little Carson boy.  So much work, but he is worth it!

We were trying some of his hats on him the other day, pretty cute, right?

That was Carson's first week!  I know it looks like it flew by folks, but Michael and I were talking about it and it was probably the longest week of our lives.  That lack of sleep really has a way of making everything more challenging.  And this week Carson has been more upset and fussing more.  We think he has some kind of reflux so his happy, awake periods have been nonexistent.  Prayers for his little tummy are much appreciated, as well as for Momma's sanity.

Life with Carson - By Michael

Being a dad is hard...

Its not the waking up all night to help calm the fussy baby.  Its not the dirty diapers, spit-up, or the crying.  The hard part about being a dad is loving someone that i just met 7 days ago already more than anyone i've ever known.  Carson is the center of my world.  Everyone told me how my life would change after having a baby, it is certainly has, but not in the way i expected.  I now am terrified of crazy drivers on the road, influenza, or Sara or I falling down the stairs while holding him.  Before, these fears wouldn't have made my top 10 and now simple things like these are keeping me up at night.  I also can't seem to watch any of the sappy holiday family commercials on TV now without getting a bit choked up.  I am excited to see how my life and attitudes change over the next several years as I feel I have already changed so drastically.  Finally I will agree with everyone that being a father is hard....But I would not change it for anything in the world!

Carson and Daddy, 1 week old