Due Date

On this day last year, Michael and I were waiting, wondering if our little baby would decide to make his/her entrance into the world.  And this little babe kept us waiting, for five, long days.

Carson's due date was today, November 22nd of last year.  But he decided to make his entrance on the 27th instead.  So, technically, our little boy is already a year old.

This year has been one of the longest and shortest of my life.  I look back on the past year, thinking about the holidays last year and how they seem so long ago.  Yet, I close my eyes and I can imagine sitting with my hands on my swollen belly, wondering if our baby was a boy or a girl and what being parents would be like.

This year has changed me.  For the better, in some ways, but in some not so good ways as well.  This past year has taught me so much about love, grace, and perseverance.  I feel it has allowed some other traits to enter my psyche as well.  Traits that I would have rather left alone.  Bitterness, anger, and jealousy, three traits that would only descend for mere moments beforehand engulfed me in days sometimes this past year.

It is hard to watch someone you love suffer.  The feeling of being powerless as you hold that tiny infant as they cry, not knowing what is wrong and afraid to change their diaper because it once again may yield results that your baby is sick, and not like other babies.  The feeling of complete helplessness as you watch your baby scratch themselves until they bleed, knowing that child feels miserable and you have no idea how to help them.

But this past year, in all of its trials, yielded a blue eyed, blonde haired little boy, whose smile lifts even my darkest spirits and whose hugs have the power to melt away any sadness.

This past year, God taught me the true meaning of "My strength is made perfect in weakness" and "cast all your cares upon Me."  He taught me how to let go, and let Him.   He taught me about contentment and grace and I pray he will soften the bitter and angry areas of my heart.

I know they years will only continue to go faster.  That is the big question/statement everyone is asking me "the time goes by so fast, don't you miss that baby already?"  The answer is no, I don't.  I don't mean to sound callous or unloving, but I don't miss Carson as an infant.  Michael and I have a sort of PTSD from Carson.  Being first time parents to a child who required the care Carson did and dealing with the issues Carson faced has left us slightly stressed and disillusioned.  We are both finally in the stage of enjoying our son.  Not that we ever didn't love him, but dealing with a screaming baby who only slept for 30 minutes at a time was draining. And Michael and I are both fully aware of how lucky we are/were.  Many couples/families have had to deal with so much more then we did!

These are just some of the thoughts that have been mulling in my head today.  I can't imagine my life without Carson anymore.  I mean, I can imagine it, but I do not want to trade him for it.  Carson made me a mommy, and I pray almost every day that I can live up to that title.  I am happy, I am content.  Carson is not out of the woods with his allergies or eczema, but he is stable and Michael has helped me realize that I am doing the best I can, despite the feelings of failure I feel on a daily basis.

Being a mom is hard, by far the hardest thing I have had to do.  All you mommies out there, I send you tons of good mommy vibes!  You are all doing amazing.   :-)

 

Finally Myself...Now Extend Grace!

Hi everyone. Remember in my mommy rant I posted that when I feel like myself again I would let you know?  Well I finally do.  Granted, I feel like a sleep deprived version of myself, but I feel like "me" despite that.  That was actually a lot quicker than I expected.  I anticipated needing at least six months to truly feel like myself again physically and emotionally, but at being 4 months 2 week postpartum I can say I think I am already there.

Does this mean I am the same?  Nope, I am a weaker, squishier version of my pre-pregnancy self with a worse memory, but I am okay with that.  I realize that I will not be able to work out for the length or at the intensity I was previously working out at.  I just do not have the time anymore between Carson, home, and work.  Combined with the low levels of sleep I get with an infant, pushing myself too much just isn't a good idea.  My body is run down enough daily as it is between that, breastfeeding, and eating a very restricted diet.

I am looking forward to this spring/summer when it is warmer and Carson and I can go for hikes, walks, and runs in our neighborhood.  I feel this will help me get back into shape.  You can be skinny, but not fit.  I'd rather be fit and a little curvier, thank you.

And as for the bad memory, I have been told that "mommy brain" extends until your children leave the house, so I don't foresee me getting rid of that anytime soon.  Bring on the abundance of lists I have to make daily!

But in the last four weeks one word stands out to me that I have been needing to use daily...the word GRACE!

I need to give my husband grace, he is going through all these changes for the first time as well.

I need to give myself grace, I am doing the best I can.  I want to be the perfect mom to Carson, but I need to extend grace to myself and sometimes just "be" and not always be trying to "fix."

I need to extend grace to my pre-conceived ideas about Carson and how he should behave.  Carson is an individual, he may not respond like writers of books or articles say he should.  I need to have the wisdom to parent Carson in the best way for him, not according to the "norm."

I have needed to extend grace to my body.  At first I wanted to start exercising and doing all the things I normally did six weeks after having Carson.  But my body wasn't ready and it still cannot perform the way it used to.  And my body just went through a lot of changes, so for me to expect it to look the same as it did before Carson is a somewhat unrealistic expectation.

I need to extend grace to those around me.  Many moms, doctors, and friends have offered me "advice" for how to deal with Carson and his issues, but only God, Michael, and I truly know what is best for our little boy.  And I need to not become frustrated with those around me for sharing their opinions.

And lastly, I need to receive God's grace.  Life is not without its trials and tribulations and just because something is not going how I "want" it to go, doesn't mean that God is angry with me or has left me.  It only means I need to hang onto Him and His grace even more.  God never stated we would have our every desire or want taken care of in this world, He said he would supply our needs.  Wants and needs are very different things.  I want a massive house in the mountains with an enormous kitchen, a fireplace and 30 acres.  But what I need is a roof over my son's head, a heater that works, and a bed to sleep on.  Now, will I have that house someday, maybe, but maybe not.  Thank you Lord for your patience with me and for what I do have!

So there you go, the word of the week is GRACE.  How can you give grace or receive grace this week?

Mommy Rant

This is my own personal mommy rant.  I just wanted to vent a few of my current frustrations, share some of the lessons I've learned, and dispel any myths some of you may have about having a baby. :-)  So this post has three parts, VENT, LESSONS, MYTHS.  Enjoy. I'm sure I'll think of more right after I hit publish.

VENT:

• Why are the baby wipes always out when you need them!
• Carson, what is the difference between me holding you and walking, and holding you and standing?  Really son, I'm tired and my pretty rug has a pathway walked through it. 
• I am sooooo tired.  I really miss sleep. This one everyone told us about, but you don't fully understand until you have a baby.
• Why don't mom's have more hands?  Seriously, I need at least three. 
• I hate pumping, and I always will.  Talk about something so boring and awkward.  You just sit there while this thing sucks life out of your boobs.  I love breastfeeding, but hate pumping.
• Back to point three!  I need three hands when I pump because you cannot do a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g to take your mind off the fact you are pumping all your hands are occupying various pumping equipment.
• Speaking of breastfeeding, I miss that my breasts used to belong to me.  They definitely belong to someone else, and it gets tiring dealing with milk everywhere, plugged ducts, engorgement, etc.
• The time change has always sucked.  It sucks double now with a baby. They do not understand the concept. 
• Why are you crying???  (can be applied to baby or mom, depending on the circumstance)
• If my baby is so sleepy, why won't it sleep!  AGH!
• Stop calling me crazy for using cloth diapers.  It is not that gross. 
• It is so hard to breastfeed in normal clothes!  And nursing clothes are so expensive!
• I wish my baby could tell me what hurts.  I'm not a mind reader!
• How can you be sleeping so peacefully in my arms, but the second I lay you down...

LESSONS:

1. No one every told me about how much my capacity to love would be stretched.  I never knew I could love something so much that also brings me so much stress and worry.  
2. When people consistently tell you that you and your husband's relationship come first, don't shrug it off and say, "well, we won't have that problem post baby." Yes you will, and you won't even realize it until you have your first argument.  Make time for each other!!  No matter what. 
3. Having your first baby is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, both physically and emotionally.  It is amazing though to look back on how far we have come and to realize that this is a HUGE learning experience for the whole family.  I can see how the subsequent kids are so much easier, there are so many things you know!
4. Your baby may poop in the bathtub, it is okay, just change the water and proceed to clean the baby all over again. 
5. Sleep deprivation makes you do crazy things, and say crazy things, and feel crazy things...
6. If someone offers to watch your baby, take them up on it!!! Do not just thank you and walk away, make a date right then and there.  :-)
7. You will get sick more often after you have a baby because you are so tired and drained from lack of sleep and breastfeeding.  Plus side is your baby gets the antibodies from you being sick though. 
8. It is okay to not know what to do, do the best you can and try really hard not to beat yourself up about it.
9. The internet will be your best friend and worst enemy. 
10. You do not have to do everything your doctor or pediatrician says. 
11. The days are so long, but just repeat, "I'm going to miss this." when you snuggle your baby as they fall to sleep.  Even if they have been crying in your ear all day.  Because you will, even if you don't think you will.  

MYTHS:

• Your doctor, mom, colleague, friend, etc knows the best way to handle the situation. Myth, They don't, YOU do.  Each baby is unique and does not respond the way other baby's might.     
• Your life is over after a baby, this is half true.  Life as you knew it was over, but a different life begins. 
• "It is so hard to leave the house with a baby, we never go anywhere."  This is a myth for us, my baby is happier when we leave our house...
• You will be yourself six weeks post baby.  WRONG, I finally feel like more of my self at 15 weeks postpartum, but not completely.  When I feel I am back to being myself for real, I will let you know. 
•  You can get your body back after baby if you really try.  Myth for me!  I may be able to fit into some of my pre-pregnancy clothes, but my body shape has shifted a little. So much changes when you are pregnant. 
• Breastfeeding is easy and natural.  HOLY FREAKING COW, breastfeeding is hard!  The first go round anyway.  Make sure you understand how to feed your baby BEFORE you leave the hospital.  And be educated on the changes that occur and about things such as mastitis, thrush, etc so that you can stop/spot them before they get worse.  
• Fussy babies are all from how mothers parent.  Not sure if this is a myth.  I feel like I have tried to be laid back about parenting, but my baby is pretty darn fussy. 
• You can nap when your baby naps.  Uh, have you even tried to sleep next to a newborn?  They make so much noise when they sleep, and I got a cat napper.  Yeah, no naps round here for mom.  (you may get a good napper, but if you don't, don't think something is wrong with you or your baby)
• Birth is beautiful and natural, Myth.  Birth is pretty darn gross, albeit it is natural.  It is such a violent way to come into the world, both for mom and baby.  Will I do it again, yes, but it is not like anything you can ever understand or expect unless you have been through it.   

Carson's Birth Story - Part 2

Well, we left off where the nurse had taken Carson off my belly and had taken him to do his Apgar scores.  During this time, my midwife was delivery my placenta and stitching me up.  I was trying to relax and gain some strength back.  I was pretty beat and was so exhausted that I was still having trouble opening my eyes and moving at all.  Michael and the nurses had to tell me what was going on with Carson after they brought him back.

While his scores were getting done (He had great Apgar scores, an 8-9) they noticed he was breathing quickly and was what they called grunting, flaring, and retracting (GFR, grunting noise, flaring his nostrils, and retracting his belly/lungs too quickly).  They were concerned about this and starting telling Michael that Carson needed a little help.  So they gave Carson two CPAP's because they thought maybe his lungs weren't inflating all the way.  Well, when they were doing that, they got air in the poor guy's stomach and then had to pump the air out.  So he had a very traumatic experience right from birth.  After these things failed to help the GFR, they let me have him back to see if a little skin to skin contact would help him calm down.

He was pretty worked up by this point and they really didn't let me hold him too long before they said that he needed to go to the nursery to see if they could help him and to get him cleaned up.  They wouldn't let me try to feed him because he was breathing too quickly and they didn't want the chance of milk getting into his airways and him aspirating.  I was just so out of it that I didn't even think to demand that Carson stay with me and just bond and rest skin to skin with me to help him.  I was so tired and Michael and I didn't know any better.  My midwife said later she almost stood up to the doctor and nurses because he was such a big healthy boy and all he needed was some down time, but she didn't.  Then again, her focus was still me and getting me up and running again.  Michael went with Carson to the nursery and my midwife finished stitching me up and cleaning me up.  Then she had to leave (she was actually off that day).  The nurse helped me order some food but I couldn't really eat.  I was still so tired and shaking so bad and I wanted to go to the nursery to see Carson.

This is where I was so happy I didn't have an epidural.  I would have had to have a catheter put in and I wouldn't have been able to get in a wheelchair to go to the nursery right away.  When I got there, they scared Michael and I even more because (of course) Carson's glucose levels had dropped (which were perfect at birth) because he hadn't been able to eat in over two hours and he had been screaming his head off.  They still wouldn't let me feed him because he was still GFR so they said he HAD to go to the NICU for an IV.  That was something they couldn't do in the nursery.  Again, Michael and I are first time parents and had no idea what to do so we listened to the doctors.  They took Carson to the NICU for an IV and they had me go to my room to get some food and rest a little.  By this point I was turning a little gray and was lightheaded.  I really should have eaten right after delivery, but I just wanted to get to Carson.

After eating some lunch we headed back over to the NICU and were informed that Carson was stable and on an IV.  Once his breathing finally settled we could try to nurse or pump some milk and feed it to him.  The other reason they wanted Carson in the NICU was that they were worried it could be something other than fluid in his lungs, like an infection or that his lungs hadn't developed fully.  After a blood draw and some X-rays they confirmed that Carson just had some fluid in his lungs that he needed to get out.  We found out later that babies who come out quickly tend to have a higher occurrence of still having fluid in their lungs because it doesn't have as much time to be pushed out as they come through the birth canal.

Anyway, they told Michael we could hang around as long as we wanted but they suggested that I go and get some rest.  They said that Carson would not be eating tonight so I should just rest up and let them take care of him.  Well, I found out later that they did give Carson a bottle and kept giving him bottles because he was hungry.  When a nurse finally noticed on his chart that I wanted to breastfeed, she called me to come down and try to nurse him.  By then he was so confused and didn't know how to suck.  The bottles they gave him literally just basically poured the milk into his mouth.  Not to mention, that if he ever fussed they just gave him a pacifier.  So double nipple confusion.  I ended up just pumping for him the whole time we were in the hospital, just so my milk would come in and that he could be off formula.

On Thursday, we pleaded with the NICU doctor to discharge Carson to our room so we could work on breastfeeding and just be close to him.  He wouldn't do it, saying Carson still needed to be monitored one more day to make sure his glucose levels stayed good.  By this time his breathing had normalized completely and they were lowering the dose on the IV every 3 hrs.  Thursday afternoon he was completely off the IV. Thursday into Friday were rough because Michael and I wanted to try to nurse Carson and be there for every feeding, which was every 3 hours.  But by the time we scrubbed in, tried to nurse, failed, gave him a bottle of colostrum, and then went back to the room to pump more, we had only an hour between feedings.  Not to mention, the NICU were nazis about how much he had to eat.  Those of you ladies who have had babies before now that they don't eat a lot of colostrum to start and that your body doesn't produce a ton of it.  The required Carson to eat 45 mL of food every 3 hours, no matter what it was.  At first I couldn't pump 45 mL of colostrum and they were making me supplement the rest with formula, even though he had eaten over 30 mL of colostrum.  After that first feeding, I don't know if it was mental, but my body magically began producing over 45 mL of colostrum every 3 hours, so the nurses didn't supplement with formula anymore.  On the flip side of this, because I was pumping so much my milk came in super heavy.  Not joking, I could have fed three babies.

We were so happy on Friday morning when all Carson's labs came back clear and the doctor said we could take him home. Unfortunately, we still had no experience breastfeeding so we ended up having to call a lactation consultant to come to our house on Sunday night because we had to start giving Carson bottles again because he wouldn't eat.  His first week home was rough, but we knew it was going to be anyway.

And now everything is fine and he is doing great.  He is growing like normal and doing everything a newborn should.  Yes, Michael and I were, and are, still very frustrated with how this was handled but we understand that it is better to be safe, than sorry.  We would have felt terrible if we did fight the doctors to keep him in our room from the beginning and he did end up having an infection or something up with his lungs.  People have asked me if I will give birth in a hospital again after this experience, and I'm not sure.  Probably.  Mostly just because birth is a little messy and I don't really want to clean up after.  :-)  We'll see, I'm content to just have Carson for awhile.  My body is definitely not ready to be pregnant and go through labor and delivery again any time soon.

Carson's Birth Story - Part 1

Carson is 2 weeks old at 1:30pm today!  I thought I would start sharing his birth story. I hesitated whether to actually share or not, but I decided I'm going to.  It is pretty long, but the ending is happy, even if there was the NICU snag (Part 2).  This post is brutally honest.  I'm not trying to scare anyone from a natural birth, now that I have done it, I will most likely do it again, but it was difficult for me at least.  But I thought I would preface that I did it!  Roughly 24ish hours of labor (if you count Tuesday morning) and I didn't use any pain medications or pitocin.  I'm also not making anyone feel bad for getting an epidural.  I asked for one, several times.  But I was able to do it.

You already know that I went (sort of) into labor on Tuesday morning, early and then then 5 minute surges (contractions) stopped after 7 hrs at around 10:30am.  After my midwife's appointment, where I was informed I had an induction scheduled for Black Friday at 6am, Michael and I just ran some errands and went to the grocery store to grill steaks for dinner.  The surges starting coming back, at a very irregular schedule, around 4 pm.  After dinner, I noticed they were starting to get regular again, around 7-9 min apart.

By 10pm, they were back to 5-6 min apart, and they stayed that way all night long.  I wasn't really able to sleep in between the surges, so I was basically up all night.  I did let Michael get some sleep when I didn't feel like I really needed him.  I took two hot showers and just practiced breathing and relaxing through the surges.  They really weren't bad, but they were intense enough that I just couldn't sleep.  At around 1:30 am, I tried to get up from bed where I was trying to rest and my water broke.  I figured that the surges would start to get closer together and more intense after my water broke, but they didn't.  They stayed 5 min apart until I called my midwife at 4:30am.  She kind of wanted me to stay home and continue to labor until they got closer together, but by now, I had been laboring for over 12 hours.  She finally just advised us to go to the hospital and get checked in and that we would be having a baby that day (Wednesday the 27th)!

We got to the hospital at 5:45am and got all checked in.  I was only 4 cm dilated, but was completely effaced.  My midwife ad told me to get in the jacuzzi right away to try to get me relaxed enough for my labor to progress.  In about 30 min, I could tell my surges were much closer apart, although from then on they never told me how close they were.

We alternated between the jacuzzi, birthing ball, and bed for laboring positions.  Michael was amazing.  He was there for each and every surge, helping me relax, helping me breathe, and pushing pressure points.  By around 9:30-10am am, I was 8 cm dilated and started to struggle.  I was very tired and was having trouble opening my eyes and really focusing on anything, even relaxing.  I was kind of getting to a point that I didn't want to go on anymore.

I wish I could say I was so strong during this labor and delivery and brought Carson into this world without making a scene, but I would be lying.  Starting around 10-10:30am I began begging for relief.  I won't go into too many details but the next 3 hours, Michael, my nurse and midwife had to help me through each contraction and provide so much support.  I was crying through many of the surges and really began sounding (either sighing, groaning, moaning, etc) through each one.  It was the only way I could get through them.

My midwife moved me to the jacuzzi and had me lay down, with the jets at my back.  I'm not sure what time this was, but it helped a lot and I had to kind of remind myself that I was strong and that I could get through this and that many women had.  I did a lot of praying in that tub.  When I finally got too hot and had to come out, I was 9.5 cm dilated, but I stayed there.  My surges didn't end, but we just couldn't seem to get me past 9.5cm.

My midwife had me try various positions to get more relaxed and get past that last 0.5 cm.  It just didn't work, and at the time, Carson was still pretty high up the birth canal and needed to come down quite a bit more.  I believe it was after noon right now that my midwife had me start breathing Carson down. I spent about 45 min doing this.  It was kind of like pushing, but not really pushing, it was more apply pressure with each surge.  All of a sudden, he was down and I started pushing.

My midwife had me get in position to push Carson out and he was out in less than 30 min.  Some women told me this was the easiest part, well, lets just say that it was the hardest part.  At this time, I was so tired and so far gone that I had trouble even opening my eyes and I couldn't even feel the contractions anymore.  My midwife and nurse had to tell me when to push. And Carson came into the world at 1:30pm.  Michael announced that he was a boy!

My midwife put him up on my belly, and Michael cut the cord, but the nurse came and took him away really quickly for his Apgar scores.  This is where part 2 starts because they scared Michael and I and said that our perfect little son wasn't breathing well and needed to go to the NICU.  When I actually get a chance I will share part 2.  :-)

Its a...!!!!

Michael and I would like to announce the birth of...

Our Son!

Carson Michael Funk

Born: 1:30pm Nov 27th

Weighing:  8 lbs 4 oz

Length:  19 in

Pregnancy Update - 40 Weeks, 4 Days

I am writing this post to update you all on my midwife appointment today. As you know, babies run on their own schedule, which I have been told time and time again this week.  :-)  Ahh, oh well.  It is actually kind of fun when people ask me when I'm due and see their faces turn to shock when I say last Friday.  I don't mind it too much.  Anyway, on to the pregnancy update.

Monday I tried a labor stimulation massage.  I figured that even if it didn't put me into labor, it would still be nice to work out some kinks.  And oh boy did I have kinks.  I knew my shoulders were bad, but my whole back just aches today from that massage.  She removed so many knots in my shoulders and lower back.  But that wasn't the labor stimulation part, she used essential oils and pressure points for that.  It didn't appear to really work, but the massage was great.  I figured it was just one more excuse to get a massage before this baby, and if it worked, heck, I got labor out of the deal. 

Well, last night at about 3am I woke up with what I thought was just bad cramps. These cramps turned into contractions which stayed consistently 6 min apart for 7 hours!   So Michael and I were up at 3ish this morning just tracking my surges (contractions) and having me relax and change positions. We thought this was it!  We were in labor and meeting our baby. Well, we noticed they (the surges) were not getting any closer together, even though they were consistent no matter what I was doing. At around 10:30 am they started slowing down. We were so disappointed!  After they stopped, I still had some intermittently but I was left with a lot of lower back pain and pelvic pressure. 

I had a midwife appointment today and we had communicated with the office around 9am to let them know what was going on. We were just told to keep up what we were doing and to go to the hospital if they got to be around 3min apart. 

At my appointment, my midwife let me know that I had an induction scheduled on Black Friday at 6am. She really doesn't want me to go past 41 weeks. At my appointment I had lost a pound and my blood pressure and everything else looked great. She told me that a false labor episode like that could happen 2 or 3 times again before I actually go into labor. :-(  on a positive note, I was 3 cm dilated and over 90% effaced. Labor could be right around the corner. She was very positive that I could go into labor on my own before Friday. What is also sad is that my midwife has thanksgiving off this year, so the other midwife I do not really know would be there to deliver my baby if I am in labor on Thanksgiving. So there is the update!  We will have a baby by Saturday folks! 

Thank you for all your prayers and support. My next blog post will be the announcement of our baby!  And then probably a thanksgiving post. Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!  

Labor-Less Weekend

Well, hey there everybody!  Surprised to see me still preggo?  I have so many people waiting and standing by for Peanut to get here, but he/she just must not be quite ready yet.  

This weekend after my due date Michael and I tried several things to get labor going.  Friday night we went to the pool and I was able to swim around, it was glorious!  For my second child I am definitely getting a pool membership.  I was able to get some great exercise, but there was absolutely no pressure on my body anywhere.  I didn't even realize how much pressure I was feeling until it wasn't there anymore.  

Saturday morning we cut up a pineapple and I ate on that all weekend.  They say there is something about pineapple that will help you go into labor.  I don't really believe it, but I love fresh pineapple so I was willing to make the sacrifice and try it out.  :-)  Then I went to yoga, also hoping to induce labor there.  No luck.  But I love my prenatal yoga class and it was nice to have something to do Saturday morning.  My belly really gets in the way on a lot of poses though.  We pregnant ladies must look so silly doing yoga. 

Saturday afternoon we relaxed.  I got some more crafty type stuff done and Michael worked a little.  Then we went for walk outside.  After our walk we realized we were really bored in the house so we ate some dinner and then went to walk around the mall because it was dark outside and I wanted to get more walking in.  The mall walking may have ended in ice cream, which tasted great (mmm, oreo fudge!).  But alas, this didn't bring Peanut any closer to coming out. 

Sunday we went to church, and then went to REI to try on child backpacks.  We knew we wanted one for next spring for some hiking expeditions, but we wanted to see what was out there and try some on.  They are sooo expensive!  The one we really liked was $250!  So we got the bright idea to look online at used ones (on a site like craigslist, but not craigslist) and were able to find one for only $50.  Here is Michael modeling it for you.

We are set for some hiking next spring!  Sunday afternoon/evening I walked a ton more.  I walked over three miles and Peanut still refused to budge.  :-)  This is a stubborn one folks, just like his/her daddy. 

Michael and I are having such a tough time waiting!  But we started planning stuff this week in hopes of having to cancel because we are having a baby, weird, right?  Thankfully I can still work, so I am not just sitting around gauging every braxton hicks I get.  I have been feeling a lot more of them lately.  Not sure if that is because I am more aware of them because I am expecting labor to begin, or if they are getting more frequent and stronger. 

Well, that was our weekend.  Hopefully our son or daughter will choose to make his/her appearance this week.  With Thanksgiving coming up I can't help but feel we may be in the hospital over the holiday, but I guess that would make this Thanksgiving very special.  God is in control and when it is time and the baby is ready, he/she will be born.  Sometimes it is so hard to wait on God, or for anything, but if it is one thing pregnancy has taught me, it is to "be still and know that He is God."  

Courtesy of Paper Coterie

40 Weeks

Well, Happy Due Date to me and Peanut!  :-)  Did you think you would see a birth announcement or this post?  I really hope you do not get to see a 41 week post...

40 Weeks

How are you feeling?  Anxious, nervous, excited, giddy, so many emotions.  Michael and I are so ready to meet this little one!  We can't wait to announce the birth of our son or daughter.

I am still feeling pretty good.  Walking around and being on my feet for long periods has gotten tough.  I want to work out, but my body doesn't like too much activity right now, it is just uncomfortable.  I did do a little strength training yesterday and I felt pretty good, I just really have to take it easy.  Michael and I do plan on taking a ton of walks this weekend, going to the pool to swim (my midwife suggested this), and trying some other inductions methods to get this baby to come.  I'm a little worried about going too late.  It just seems like my body is a little bit behind where I need to be.  I am noticing more braxton hicks, but not overly so, and I don't really have any of the other pre-labor symptoms.  I know that the longer this baby stays in, the stronger and healthier it is though, so I will wait on God and my baby, they seem to know what's best.

My maternity clothes don't really fit anymore. Most of shirts don't completely cover my belly.  It has been cold here and I really only have one maternity long sleeve so I have been wearing a lot of my old cover ups and sweaters lately over my maternity tanks and tees from this summer.  It works!  

Appointment Update?  I had an appointment with my midwife on Tuesday when I was 39 weeks, 4 days.  I was 1.5 cm dilated and over 80% effaced.  The evening primrose oil worked wonders.  I went from being very firm, to being very soft in one week.  So all you pregnant ladies, ask your midwives and doctors about this!  My belly is measuring at 37 when I was 39 1/2 weeks so still a little behind, but the baby has dropped so this is probably why I'm still measuring a little small.  All signs point to me being well on my way to having a baby, although my midwife has let me know that they are not very comfortable with me going past 41 weeks.  She feels it is better to be induced right after 41 weeks then to wait until 42 and run the risk of my placenta beginning to break down.  We noticed a little swelling in my feet for the first time at the appointment.

Weight Gain?  Another pound, so 32 lbs gained so far in this pregnancy.  Hopefully that was the last one!

How big is Peanut?  Anywhere from 7-9 lbs and 19-22 inches long!  He/she is completely developed and is just getting fat in there.  That and growing their hair and nails longer. 

Milestones?  Umm, it's my due date. Pretty huge milestone.   :-)  I spent some time this morning thinking back to my first ultrasound to date this pregnancy, and how they announced that my due date was today.  That seemed so long ago!  And now here we are, although it felt like we would never get to this point.  

Interesting Notes?  I was told by the checker at Walmart this week that I was having a girl.  She was the first random person to say that to me.  Remember my TSA office story from 14 weeks (linked), he thought it was a boy.  That is definitely the gender guess I get most often.

Just for fun, here is a flashback for you all!  Me at 16 weeks and now.  How time has flown and Peanut has grown (not rhyming on purpose!).

Looking forward...and back

I am almost at the end.  I wanted to make a little memory post of some of the things that I loved about being pregnant and some things that frustrated me.  Michael and I would like to have more than one child.  So there is a good possibility I will be pregnant again, but it all won't be so new and crazy.

What I loved about being pregnant:

• My belly!  I love just sitting and looking at it while Peanut is moving around, and poking him/her back.  :-) 
• The anticipation, it has been like knowing you are getting an amazing present at Christmas all year long!  Many a thought has been pondered wondering what this little being will look like, what it will like, dislike, or act like!
• Seeing babies in stores or on playgrounds, laughing and playing with their parents.  Michael and I could just share an excited glance.  We are so excited to meet our child.  We can't wait to take them to the park, or develop some fun family traditions around the holidays, or take them on their/our first adventure (we have no idea what that will be yet). 
• My body.  As much as I am worried about getting my body back, I have to admit that I admire my body right now.  There is something so beautiful about what my body has done.  I actually like the way I look, even if I do look like a beached whale.  :-)  Ask me this again after the baby is born though, I really hope I am able to at least fit back in all the clothes I have!
• All the baby stuff.  It is so adorable. I still tear up when I see cute little clothes and diapers.  I can't wait to kiss our baby's scrunched up face!
• Having everyone take care of you.  I have always been a very self sufficient person.  When I am sick, I take care of myself.  If I needed more money, I got a job.  If something needed to be done, I did it.  And I may have been a slight control freak.  But this pregnancy has taught me so much about just sitting back and just "being," because I cannot control anything really with pregnancy.  Which is a lesson God knew I needed to learn.  Take away my extreme fitness and busy work life and I felt useless and bored, but God showed me there is so much more.  I do like that I can live a bit slower of a life and still be happy. And I love how Michael and I have grown to take care of each other more.  There were things I would have never asked him to help me with or do before, I could handle it, but I have had to lean on him, and him on me.  It has brought us closer. 
• Besides not being able to do extreme fitness, I really could keep doing most other life things I needed to do.  And I really like pampering myself while I was pregnant.  I let myself do prenatal yoga, get some prenatal massages, and get pedicures.  Normally I would not have paid for those things.  
• Not worrying about what I eat.  This was so nice.  I have always been a pretty healthy eater, but I did have to watch how much I ate to maintain my size, or at least compensate by working out.  While I have been pregnant I have been letting myself enjoy some things that I normally wouldn't let myself eat so much of. 

Frustrating things about pregnancy:

• My life ended.  And that was INCREDIBLY frustrating.  I should really say, "my life as I had been living, ended."  I had to stop so many things that I enjoyed!  I think I wrote about this before, but Michael has not had to really change his life at all yet.  I had to stop enjoying a drink with friends and family, I had to stop biking, I had to be careful when hiking because I would all of a sudden hit a wall and couldn't go anymore.  My body used to be a machine that I loved to challenge.  And then I had to stop challenging it so it could create a baby. I couldn't eat things I liked anymore.  I had to be more careful about what I exposed myself too, etc.  And I was pretty liberal during this pregnancy.  I swear, they want pregnant ladies to live in a bubble!
• This has been frustrating for Michael too, because I have been his adventurous partner for four years now.  It has been hard for us to live in another adventurous state and not be able to plan stuff to do on the weekends!  We would have camped more, hiked more peaks, and done some amazing mountain bike excursions (not that we don't love you Peanut!).  Michael has a really hard time sitting around the house, well, we both do and I have been having to do more, and more of that. 
• I gained weight.  And all women will tell you we hate gaining weight.  It took awhile for me to accept it and realize that it was necessary and what my body needed to do.  But I am worried about after baby is born.  I will be really, really sad if I cannot fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes.  My jeans became too small around week 16.  
• It makes your future uncertain and you have to grow up.  Now I am thinking about retirement plans, health insurance, child care, life insurance, and a college saving plan.  :-)  These things needed to happen and be thought about, but Michael and I are realizing how much we are leaving the carefree lives of our younger married days in exchange for security and a family. 
• The crazy dreams.  They are so weird!  And I know they don't mean anything, but depending on the type of dream, I could wake up sad, or anxious, and confused.  And they just. don't. end!  Every time I close my eyes I dream about something weird.  
• Not being able to plan anything.  I am a planner.  I want to plan trips, adventures, heck, what to do on the weekend.  But with this pregnancy, I was just never sure what I was going to be able to handle.  That and we have no idea what having a newborn will be like.  We have received advice all over the place such as, "kids are portable, you can keep doing what you guys like to do" or "you will never sleep again and kiss all your mountain biking, camping days behind."  So we really can't plan anything for the winter like ski trips, or snowshoeing, or family visits because we have no idea what having a baby will be like. 

39 Weeks

Our bags are packed, lists are made, and we are just standing by for when Peanut decides to get here.  So you may see a 40 week post or a birth announcement!

39 Weeks, 1 Day

How are you feeling?  Hungry.  I have been way more hungry this past week.  I have been eating a ton!  At least as much as Michael.  I have been having more mood swings lately, darn hormones, which must also be responsible for temperature swings while I am sleeping.  I will wake up super hot, then I'll be cold, then hot again, weird!  My hips have actually been hurting less during the day...also weird. They still hurt pretty bad when I move at night though.  I have been sleeping a bit better even and actually slept 7 hours straight the other night, and then when back to sleep.  My ring stays off.  Mostly because I was just worried about not being able to get it off or my fingers swelling more.  Depending on the time of day I could still wear it.

I'm still not really feeling very much braxton hicks.  I'm okay with the baby not coming next week, but I would like them to come before Thanksgiving.  I know this is out of my control though. :-) My midwife talked about how I should (maybe) start to feel more braxton hicks and that they should begin to last longer and I can maybe start timing between them sometimes.  But like I said, I still have yet to really even notice them.

Appointment update?  My midwife is very happy with everything.  My blood pressure is good, belly size is good, and the baby is positioned well.  My belly is still measuring at 36, even though I am 39 weeks pregnant.  My midwife said this is because the baby just keeps scooting lower.  No change for me between this week and last week, still 1cm dilated and around 70% effaced.  She shared that we can start using evening primrose oil to help me soften and dilate.  Not sure how many other ladies out there have tried this but I will let you know if it works!

Weight Gain?  Gained another pound, so total of 31 lbs thus far.  That one pound seemed to make a difference because I feel large now, but I know that I am in the final "large" stage so I guess I can't really complain.

Cravings/Aversions?  I've been eating a more salad this week.  Mike and I ate pretty bad last weekend while tailgating and just in general so we have felt the need to health it up this week.  We both feel terrible when we eat too much junk. I have been wanting to go our for Thai or Chinese food, so maybe we will do that this weekend.  No aversions this week.

How big is Peanut?  My midwife is a firm believer that my body will not produce a baby that I cannot deliver, so this gives me hope, because we think this baby is getting pretty big.  She cannot really give a size estimate, but the baby is really squished in my belly, that's for sure.  She/He has a hard time moving around now and the movements are so drastic.  I have to pay attention to my belly when he/she is awake. You can just watch my belly moving and contorting with each tiny movement of the baby.

Milestones?  Peanut is now truly considered full term.  That and I know several ladies who had their babies at 39 weeks, including my sister-in-law.  It has been crazy to think that she was holding her baby right now.

Interesting Notes?  Now that we are coming to the end of this journey, it is bittersweet.  I am going to miss my belly and the special time I got to share with Peanut while he/she was in there.  But I'm excited to get to meet him or her face to face.  And we are so excited to find out if it is a boy or a girl!

A Fall Weekend Update

Hey!  I finally have a post that includes something other than pregnancy updates!  This past weekend I was able to go to a football game with Michael for his work.  He had a sales contest for his distributors and the winners got to tailgate and attend a Utah Utes game.  Normally I wouldn't get to go, but he had some guys back out last minute, so there was an open ticket for me. 

We got to the University of Utah around 9am to set up for tailgating for the 2pm game.  It was a perfect tailgating spot.  We grilled burgers and even used my little crock-pot with an inverter to make some rotel cheese dip, which for some reason was ah-mazing.  That must be due to pregnancy.  :-)  

It was a little bit of a walk to the game, but it was such a gorgeous day, that we didn't mind.  It was definitely tough walking back to the truck though!  It was all uphill and this pregnant lady is really starting to feel it. 

Unfortunately the Utes lost, but we had fun.  It was pretty hard for me to sit on bleachers for several hours.  We had to leave at the beginning of the fourth quarter because my lower back was not enjoying those bleachers. 

38 Weeks, Utah Utes Game

They let balloons go at half time, can you see the big mass of balloons above the flag?

On the way home, we saw a beautiful sunset!  It was a pretty great Saturday.  

Sunday we went to church and then I let Michael go for a bike ride.  I tried to go for a hike while he biked, but alas, no more hiking for me.  Just too difficult.  But I am happy that was able to hike as long as I did!

I am starting to get all the questions like "Aren't you so ready to have that baby? It could happen any day now", "I was dying at this point, aren't these last weeks terrible?", "Do you have your bags packed and ready?"  "Are you guys ready to have that baby?"

And my answer is yes, and no.  We are excited to meet our son or daughter, but we are not crazed by the fact we have to wait.  I did not expect to feel this way at this point.  I expected the anticipation of having this baby to be unbearable and that I would just be so ready.  I am excited, but also content to just let this baby come whenever it wants.  I am not feeling terrible.  I still feel really good and honestly, I have enjoyed being pregnant.

One of the ladies at the tailgate was shocked I was there because her son was two weeks early, so she already had a baby at that point.  And that is weird for me to think about!  I just don't feel like my body is ready to have the baby yet.  But I could be wrong!  Friday marks 39 weeks.  Thanks for walking in this journey with us!  I appreciate your prayers for a quick, safe labor!

38 Weeks

I lied.  New research and pregnancy data confirms that full term is considered 39 weeks, and that those last two weeks in the womb from 37-39 weeks are very important for the baby's brain and lungs to fully mature. So the baby can wait another week or two or three.  :-)

38 Weeks

How are you feeling?  Tired.  I definitely don't have a ton of energy to hike or go for walks.  I have been making myself do these things because I feel so much better after I do, but I'm not motivated anymore.  We had a crazy week with Michael's work and I wanted to help him so I was getting up with him and it just wore me out.  I need more than 8 hrs in the bed because I am up several times and then have to fall back to sleep, so for every 8 hrs he sleeps, I think I really only sleep around 6.5 hrs.  Last night I was up for over an hour and I was hungry!  I had to get up and go eat some leftover scrambled eggs and go back to bed.  That was s first for me.

I officially cannot get up when I sit down, my ab muscles are no more.  I have to pull myself out or have Michael give me hand unless I want to roll myself out of wherever I am.  I felt more braxton hicks this week, but I am still not noticing it very much.

Midwife Appointment?  The midwife and I kind of had a little scare.  As she was looking for the heartbeat and feeling around for Peanut's head, I could tell she was having issues.  She spent about 15 minutes prodding me and moving the doppler around my belly. Usually she puts the doppler low and can hear the heartbeat really good.  But she was couldn't get a good reading down low!  She was concerned the baby had flipped!  We spent another 10 minutes messing with the baby from outside my belly and then doing an internal, where she did verify that the baby is indeed, still head down.  Whew!  But guess what her answer was to why she had trouble?  "I think you have a big baby"  Uh-oh!

In other news.  I am still 1 cm dilated and now 70% effaced.  My belly finally grew a little this week though.  I am measuring a 36 (even though I am 38 weeks pregnant).  This is not a concern and I have talked to several moms who said they always measured small and were still on-time or even delivered early.  So that really has nothing to do with if I will go late or not.

How big is baby?  Umm, no idea, but my midwife seems to think he/she is on the larger side, which is a scary thought.  According to my pregnancy books and apps, the baby could be anywhere from 5.5lbs to 7lbs and could be 18-21 inches long.  Her/his brain and lungs is still maturing, but he/she could be born right now and be completely fine.

Weight Gain?  I didn't gain any weight in the last two weeks!  I was shocked!  So still sitting at a gain of around 30lbs.  So what did I do when I found that out?  Went to In and Out burger for a cheeseburger, fries, and chocolate shake.  :-)

Cravings/Aversions?  Umm, not really.  Cake sounds good, Chinese food sounds good.  Salads still don't sound great but I could force myself to eat one.

Milestones?  We bought the last of the baby stuff we "needed" last weekend.  There are a couple things I would like to get, but we don't 100% need them for when the baby comes.  At some point I think I will need a changing pad for the table I got, but like I said, not a direct need right now.  The car seat has been installed and our hospital bags are somewhat packed.  I also received my free breast pump through insurance in the mail.  Because of the Affordable Care Act, breast feeding is considered preventative care or something so if you choose to breastfeed, you can get a pump for free, you just have to talk to your insurance.  So all you pregnant ladies out there, you can get one for free as well!!  It is actually a little scary to look at because I have no idea really how to use the breast pump.  I think that experience is going to be interesting...:-)

Interesting Notes?  I'm not ready.  All of a sudden this week I kind of freaked out that I only had two weeks until my due date and that the baby could come anytime.  I just don't feel ready anymore.  So funny since just last week I couldn't wait for the baby to get here!  Gotta love pregnancy mood swings!

37 Weeks

I know, we have been lame.  I really haven't been posting anything besides baby updates.  There is just not much else really going on right now except the fact that it is November!!  And I am supposed to have a baby in November!!

37 Weeks, 2 Days

How are you feeling?  Overall, still pretty good.  I do have constant hip/groin pain that is just kind of "there" now, it doesn't ever go away.  I was able to put my ring on last week, but this week I had to try and squeeze it back off because I must have a little swelling in my fingers.  I haven't noticed really any swelling in my feet though.  It is weird, some days I put on my shoes and they are tight, and other days they fit fine again, it must be related to how much I have eaten or how much water I have drank, or something. The skin around my belly button kind of hurts and itches at the same time, it is so stretched.  And it looks so funny!  If I wear anything that hugs my belly, my outie belly button is kind of hard to miss.  I haven't noticed any braxton hicks unless I go for a walk, which I think is a little strange.  I actually feel like I had it more before.  So many other moms said they had it at night.  If I do, I don't realize that I am having it.

Sleep is getting more difficult, I am awake for longer after I wake up.  There is just so much going on in my mind it seems right now.  The fact that I am pregnant has once again become surreal.  I can't believe that in just a short time period I will be holding a newborn, and our life will forever change.

Cravings/Aversions?  I had a craving for pizza from the grocery store, really weird considering I was just sick of pizza a little while ago.  This was even a specific brand of pizza though.  I also craved popcorn last week.  Still a little aversion to salads again.  I just do not want one.  I'm trying to get my veggies other ways.  The cake craving came back, and thankfully there was a Halloween party this week where they had cupcakes.

Weight Gain?  Well, since my appointment this week with my midwife was canceled, I haven't gotten weighed.  But I have been hungry!  So I would not be surprised if the scale shoots up.  I will know next week.

How big is baby Funk?  We really have no idea.  :-)  They could be anywhere from 5.5-7lbs and 18-20 inches long right now.  My belly wasn't measured, so I have no how much my belly grew in the last week, if at all.  Our little Peanut is supposed to be putting on about a 1/2 lb a week right now.

Milestones?   We made it!  Can you believe it?  Baby Funk is considered full term.  Now he/she is just going to take her/his sweet time to come meet us.  :-)  And I found a pediatrician!  And my ticker at the bottom of the scree has changed to a watermelon, I think that is the last fruit size.  We are near the end. :-)

Interesting Notes?  We were still able to go for a hike last weekend!  It looked like it might be the last nice weekend in the forecast and I just had to try to get out. I was also still able to do 25 minutes on the elliptical at the gym (very slowly :-).  Feeling so blessed that I have been able to stay so active.  The Mom's club that I joined here in Utah threw me a tiny little baby shower at the meeting we had last week.  We played a couple games and just chatted while their kids ran around like crazy.  Going to this group has really opened my eyes up to what my life is going to be like in a couple years...total craziness.

Living in the Moment

This week has marked the realization for Michael and I that very soon we will go from a family of two, to a family of three.  And that adjustments and changes will need to be made.  These revelations have made us anxious and excited.  Our focus has shifted somewhat from our life right now to our life in 3-5 weeks as we prep for a baby.

In the midst of all this we have been saddled with additional stresses.  I am getting more emotional which comes with increasing hormones and less sleep while Michael deals with a lot of stress at his job while he tries to do the job of two men in a normal workweek (his coworker was let go).  My increasing need for his presence has been met with an empty house as he tries to accomplish everything that has been put on his task list.   And his stress becomes my stress, further pushing me into a more emotional state as my mind races during the night when I should be asleep.

I ordered some of my favorite children's books from Amazon the other day and when the package arrived, I flipped through each book lovingly and excitedly, imagining the day when I hold my child and read them that story.  This imagery and other imaginations fill my thoughts as I wash clothes, make lists, and perform any other kind of baby prep I can think of to occupy my time until my husband comes home.

This time occupation for me and busyness for Michael finally came to light this week.  We have both forgotten to live in this moment, to live in the now.  We keep looking ahead to when I deliver and Michael can take time off to be home with the baby and me.  But we need to not forget the time we have together right now.  It has been settling upon me the actualization that there will be no more "quick run to the store" or "stopping by Target."  I will be having this baby in the winter, which means it will be cold and my pediatrician has advised us not to leave the house unless we actually have to, since sickness reigns during the winter months.  Michael and I will not be able to just take a Saturday afternoon to go snowshoeing, or for a winter hike.  We will be a little housebound for awhile.  Because of this I have been feeling this increasing need to spend more time together out of the house.

We need to enjoy these days as they are, just the two of us.  Even with all the stress or lack of sleep, because each day is such a gift.  I keep being reminded of the verse in Matthew 6:25-34 where God speaks to us about not worrying and to "not take thought for tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself."  And it will, and it will be God's perfect plan as according to Jeremiah 29:11.  I know God is orchestrating our lives right now.  We can't wait to meet our little bundle of Joy, but we can't forget the joy we have today, and everyday.  Michael and I love living an adventure, and having this baby is certainly going to be an adventure.  I want these last few weeks to be our adventure for just a little longer.  Baby, I am so excited to meet you, but tomorrow, your mama is going to live for tomorrow, because you will be here soon enough!

36 Weeks

Another week down and only 4 weeks "supposedly" until this baby may choose to make its appearance.

And he/she is on his/her way.  I had a midwife appointment this week and the baby is head down and in the -2 position (not yet engaged, 0 is engaged and + means the baby is heading out!), but he/she is getting ready.  I was measuring small, no change in my belly size between 34 and 36 weeks, but my midwife said this is not a concern and is because the baby is so low already.  She said the baby probably just moved down instead of moving my belly out.  I am 50% effaced and dilated 1 cm, but this means absolutely nothing except that my body is preparing for labor and delivery.  None of these measurements mean I will be early or late or anything. So there is our appointment update!  Now onto the rest of the pregnancy post.

36 Weeks, 2 Days

How are you feeling?  I finally got some late pregnancy symptoms this week.  Hip and groin pain have made their appearance and they made it strong!  Wow!  I was in shock on Wednesday night whenever I tried to change positions it hurt so bad!  That made Thursday pretty tough because I was really tired from not sleeping and my hips hurt pretty bad all day.  I had the full on pregnancy waddle for sure.  I finally tried doing some yoga Thursday night and that helped my symptoms so much.  I'm think I am going to have to stretch my hips like that often. Sleeping is getting a little rough (besides the hip pain), my mind is racing when I wake up and it keeps me from falling back asleep. Not sure if it is hormones or stress, but probably just hormones getting me ready to have a newborn!

The other thing I am really noticing is that I am getting more tired.  I took a walk yesterday and didn't even walk that long but I was so done after I was finished, I just wanted to sit with my feet up.   I wish we had access to a pool because swimming sounds amazing right now and that way I could still get some exercise. Still no swelling, but I do get heart burn really bad every now and then.

Cravings/Aversions?  I have been having a craving for my chicken pot pie recipe and I finally made it on Sunday.  It is so good!  I like this recipe because it has biscuits on top instead of a pie crust.  I am not a huge fan of the crust chicken pot pies.  Michael brought home chocolate milk and I can't stop drinking it!  No other real cravings.  I have a small aversion to cold food right now, I want almost everything warmed up, so salads are a little hard to eat.

Weight Gain?  Another pound at the midwife's office, so around 30 lbs so far.

How Big is Baby?  I only have my pregnancy books and apps to go by for my baby's size.  Since I am seeing a midwife, they are a little more conservative and I will not be getting another ultrasound before the baby is born.  So the baby is roughly supposed to be around 5.5-6 lbs and between 18.5-20 inches long.

Milestones?  My first internal exam and my group B strep test this week felt like pretty big milestones.  That and the fact that we are a week away from having a full term baby!  I am just so excited to meet this baby that I think I will have a hard time waiting if I go late, which is most likely what will happen.

Interesting Notes?  Everything looked so good at my appointment that my midwife said she didn't need to see me for two weeks.  So I am not quite going weekly yet.  :-)  I'm trying to mentally prepare myself that I may be up to two weeks late with this baby, just because going late seems to be very common with first time mothers.  That and my mom was two weeks late with me and Michael's mom was 5 days late with him as well.  And it seems like all my friends who have had babies have been late, with the exception of one. I feel like if I mentally prepare, I won't be so disappointed if I do go past my due date.  Michael keeps telling everyone he is not ready yet anyway.  He keeps saying "how can you ever be fully ready to have your life completely change and be responsible for raising another human being?"  Which I suppose is true, we really do have no idea what we are getting into, but we will figure it out.  :-)

  

Getting ready for a baby...

Folks, we almost ready for this baby!  This last week I really cracked down on organizing, washing, and setting some stuff up so we felt a little more ready, in the midst of hiking other things this weekend. 

Hiking, 35 Weeks

This is my child's father, poor kid :-). 

Just kidding, love you babe!

One thing that is so nice with going to work part-time, is having more time to do some of the things I enjoy, like crafts.  Ever since I knew my due date was in November, I wanted to make a car seat cover, since my baby will be so little in the winter.  I was able to finish up that craft this weekend, and I love how it turned out!

Now my baby will be nice and toasty and protected from the cold winter wind.  You can find almost any pattern on the internet for free.  :-)  It was fun, and not too difficult.

And like I mentioned above, I really got our room ready for baby.  Here is where our baby is going to live for at least the first 2-3 months of life, right next to our bed.  There is a little Rubbermaid drawer set on the other side of the room by the bathroom, that you can't see, and this is where all the baby's clothes are, so classy.

I have had so many people tell me that I will want to move that baby to another room after a week or two, but that is just not really an option.  Maybe we will have to figure out something else if Michael really needs to get some sleep, but he can go sleep in the guest bedroom if he needs to.

And here is my changing table setup right outside of our room in the hall by the washer.  It think it is going to work out perfectly.

We are just getting so excited!  I have been having more dreams about giving birth and having the baby.  The baby so far has been a boy every time, but that could be because of all the influences around me who think I am having a boy. We really just have a couple more items that we need and we will be completely set.  My biggest priority now is finding a pediatrician, but this has stressed me out every time I have sat down and and I'm not really sure how to go about it.  I know I want to find one close to the house, but finding one that takes our insurance is obviously a must as well.  I'll figure it out.  It is just coming up so fast now.  In two weeks our baby is considered full term!  I can't wait to introduce him/her to all of you!