Fall always makes me come into a nostalgic like state. Probably because the holidays are right around the corner. I remember things that happened years ago, wonder what people are up to now, and the next time I am going to see some of them.
It is also getting colder, and it is harder to crawl out of bed in the morning, or stay out past the sun going down. It was such a nice day out yesterday night, that after my tuesday night Bible study Mike and I went to go play some tennis.
This is me confessing I guess...but have you ever had an amazing Bible study, and then when you got done you felt great, blessed, and feel hope only to then find yourself struggling with some of the things in the lesson? Let me clarify.
Right now I am a part of a Esther study using Beth Moore. For those of you who have the option to do this, take it!!! It is an amazing and wonderful study. The Bible really comes alive and makes you become a part of the story.
The lesson she was on this week was on meanness. How we as women are just mean sometimes, and what is the base for it. How women are just vicious sometimes, especially to other women. (it stemmed from talking about Haman, you all know how mean he was) After that, I was convicted for the way that I treat people sometime, and for the way I do not put God first or try to be a woman of God above all. I find myself needing to find approval by others, my husband, or the world.
Well, that peachy and all, but what did I proceed to do when we started playing tennis? I got frustrated, then I started not being very nice and getting angry. I notice it is whenever my heart becomes sensitive to God, is when Satan comes back with a vengeance, and Satan's plan was for me to get angry at my husband, and to feel miserable about myself. He started attacking me with all he had, showing me how I wasn't good at anything, reminding me how I am mediocre and a lot of things, but not actually good at anything...all lies I know, but when you are upset you are more susceptible.
In the study she talked about how when you feel this "meanness" rising up in you to just pray right away, and I will tell you, I was trying, but it was so hard!! By the end of the night I was conquering, but still a little moody. I just get frustrated that my husband is so good at everything it seems, he can beat me at almost everything! Probably the only thing I do better than him is fix my hair or paint my toes.
Anyway...
Moral of the story, don't be mean! Ask God for help! Enjoy every day of your life, its a precious gift and love those around you fiercely and be nice to those that are mean to you. Take care everyone, and enjoy the fall weather!!!!
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