Finally

Yes, I'm pregnant!  Ahhh, I can finally completely share.  Some people knew.  With the move and calling people to say goodbye, I didn't want to call everyone again three weeks later to be like, "oh, by the way, we are going to have a baby."  And yes, this did influence our decision to accept this promotion in Salt Lake.  It kind of hit us in the face that we couldn't hinge our life on my job.  I had to quit doing most field work after I found out, just because of the inherent risk of my job. That being said, that is my job description, and what I do, so I moved to a desk job with my company for now and we just really realized that we need Michael to have a stable career. 

I wanted to tell everyone right away, but this is not the first time we have been pregnant.  I had one definitive miscarriage around 7 weeks and I believe one early miscarriages in between that one and this pregnancy, but more on that later.  Now onto the happy stuff and the pictures my in-laws have been waiting to see!

We found out we were pregnant the day before St. Patrick's Day, the day we decided to have some friends over for a St. Patrick's Day party.  Talk about a buzz kill.   :-)  I'm glad I found out because I would have drank that night. I just wasn't feeling right, was noticing some other pregnancy symptoms but didn't think it could be real.  So I tested in a Target bathroom (classy right?) because it was morning and I didn't have any tests at home.  I about had a heart attack in the Target.  Michael's parents were in town and I was trying to hide it from them and just tell Michael, what a day...  

Michael and I are very excited!  As of right now, they are approximating that I am due November 22nd, 2013.  The week before Thanksgiving.  I have been joking that I will either extra enjoy Thanksgiving, because I will be breast-feeding and have that thing out of me so I can stuff my face, or I will be so pregnant that I won't even be able to eat half my plate because Peanut will be punching my stomach.

I started taking photos at 7 weeks, and have taken one every week since.  

7 weeks - Think of this photo as the "before" photo

Because of my history, I was monitored pretty closely during the first five weeks after we found out (I found out at 4 weeks, after feeling "weird").  Then they kind of backed off after 9 weeks until my 12 week appointment.

Here is the 7 week ultrasound, just our little peanut!  Peanut had a strong heartbeat then of 130 bpm.

At eight weeks, I was feeling the worst I have been for this whole pregnancy.  Just really tired, headaches, difficulty focusing, etc.  It was yucky. But I got through it.

8 weeks

I have been feeling overall "okay" during this pregnancy.  Just mainly really tired and weird food aversions.  I don't have energy to do much of anything, and if I overdue it, I feel terrible.  I do get sick when I go too long without eating.  And I have had occasional bouts of nausea but it is incredibly inconsistent.  And thankfully, I can keep food down just fine.

My pants started getting snug and uncomfortable around 8-9 weeks.  I think that was more because of bloat or weight gain, other than baby.  I had to eat a lot to keep the sickness down, so I ate more than I normally did and stopped working out. 

At 9 weeks I had another ultrasound, and got to see a bigger Peanut with arm and leg buds and a 167 bpm heartbeat. 

The ultrasound tech called Peanut a gummi bear

9 weeks

I was ten weeks when I went to Salt Lake City with Michael.  By then, none of my pants fit comfortably and I had to do the rubber band around the button trick, or wear skirts, tights, or yoga pants. Or maybe they didn't fit because the fact that I can down a footlong subway sandwich if I let myself get too hungry.  I feel like I have to eat every four hours or I start to feel really tired and sick again.

10 Weeks, rocking the yoga pants

At ten weeks, we had also decided to tell Michael's parents and his sister and brother-in-law.  We had shared the news to my family the weekend before (although my Mom already new because I needed some support after I found out I was pregnant again, based upon previous occurrences).  I wanted to do a "fun surprise" method instead of just calling them.  So I sent them a onesie with just a due date on the front and our last name on the back, like a jersey, and sent them a surprise letter telling them to call us when we got the package.  

That turned out so fun.  They both got the package on Friday, when I was exactly 10 weeks and Michael and I were both together in Salt Lake.  It was great to have the support, excitement, and extra prayers for this little miracle.  

At 11 weeks, I was basically the same as at 10 weeks.  Clothes were a little uncomfortable, my belly was a bit bigger, and I still didn't look pregnant.  To me, I could tell I was getting a little thicker around the middle.  I have always been small in my waist, so I could tell that my stomach was sticking out a little, but comparatively, I still looked normal to everyone else.  I was still eating quite a bit, but I started getting more energy.  I found I wanted to go on more walks and started taking more yoga classes at my gym.  I did have to buy a new pair of pants, so I could have something comfortable to wear most days, but I got a pair of really stretchy jeans on clearance, so they should fit for awhile.  But that week was so long because I was so excited for my 12 week appointment!  

11 weeks - Very small belly, but compare to 7 weeks

And now I am twelve weeks and am telling you all!  No belly photo because I don't have anyone to take it, but I will get one up for 13 weeks. 

Outline of the head with its hand is up by its face

The baby was so active during the ultrasound, it was amazing!  Summersaults, waving arms and legs, and even sticking out its tongue!  I didn't realize it would be so developed at 12 weeks.  The heart beat was 154, so very strong and good.  I didn't get to hear it though, I was disappointed, they were using a low beam ultrasound so it could not pick up the heart beat, it wasn't strong enough.  They said I will get to hear it at the next appointment probably. 

So, I plan on blogging almost weekly about my pregnancy, especially since I am moving farther away from family, so they can share this with me.  This way, I also have photos and info that maybe I can make a pregnancy journal or something.  Here are some answers to big questions I know that I will get right now.  

When do you get to find out if it is a girl or a boy?  Well, Michael and I decided that we are not going find out with this baby. We want it to be a wonderful surprise.  This is what I have decided right now, talk to me in 8 weeks.  

What do you think it is?  I'm not sure, I feel like everyone is having boys, so Murphy's law says I should be having a girl.  But I kind of feel like it is a boy, just because that is the names I like best, it is the gender I seem to most often refer to when I am talking about the baby, and just what I see when I think of a baby crawling around. But Michael wants a boy, so maybe that is why I am thinking that.

Are you craving any certain foods?  Unfortunately, yes.  I have had a weird relationship with food this first trimester.  Certain things just don't sound good and are hard to eat.  Other things (like Pizza or macaroni and cheese) sound amazing!  So, basically I am craving junk food.  Which this baby does not need to grow big and strong.  So I feel terrible about eating so bad, but it is so hard to eat other things!  My biggest cravings are donuts (and I normally hate donuts, ask Michael, I never buy them!), tuna fish sandwiches, pizza, and frozen yogurt.  I have been settling for fresh made scones from a local bakery for my donut obsession, at least they are not fried and prepackaged, right?  And the tuna, I am being safe and keeping it about a can of tuna a week. 

So you are not eating paleo or gluten free?  I am trying to be as healthy as possible, but with the way my tastes have changed, gluten free foods or even large amounts of vegetables are really hard to eat.  I've found I've needed more carbohydrates for energy.  So I am trying to listen to my body a little.  But yes, I try to squeeze in as many gluten free or paleo meals as possible in between the pizza, sandwiches, and scones.  :-)

Have you gained a lot of weight, it sounds like you eat a lot and eat terrible?  Well, I started out this pregnancy at a healthy weight, maybe a little heavier than where I'd have liked to be, but a healthy BMI.  At my 12 week appointment I had gained around 4 pounds.  The other thing is, I stopped working out.  And I used to work out a lot, so I think I may have gained a little more because of my diminished activity and need to eat constantly to keep the sickness down.   

What is the worst and best part about being pregnant?  This question is for me, that I just wanted to document.  It took awhile to have this pregnancy and after the miscarriage, I didn't care if I was throwing up 10 times a day, I just wanted a healthy pregnancy.  But now that everything is okay, the worst part about being pregnant is how much my life had to change.  I couldn't mountain bike, I didn't have the energy to do anything, I couldn't enjoy a glass of wine or a margarita on the weekends, I was bloated and felt yucky, etc.  I just didn't realize how much it changed who I was and what I liked to do.  I feel guilty but I watch a lot of TV on my computer now and read a lot, which I enjoy, but I miss the activity.  It is hard watching Michael have his normal life and feel normal, nothing has changed for him, he doesn't have to stop enjoying beers with his clients or stop mountain biking, especially since it is almost summer!  I am going to miss out on that!  

But the best part of being pregnant is just knowing that we are going to have a baby and being able to share an intimacy with this baby that no one else does.  Just putting my hand on my stomach and thinking of this little one inside me brings me such joy.  Seeing babies now makes me excited (or wary, depending on the baby's mood), and when I go by the baby section at a store, there is no more, "someday I will have a family", I get to look and realize, "I'm going to need that."  Watching this baby grow on websites throughout the weeks and watching my body change, just reminds me of how much of a miracle having a baby is, especially since I have had friends that achieving pregnancy has also been difficult.  It is a miracle, plain and simple.

What about moving to Salt Lake?  What about your doctor and not knowing anyone?  This was tough, but I have found a hospital close to where we live, so I will go in there and see what doctors practice there and find a new doctor that way.  As for not knowing anyone, I'm hoping that expecting will allow me to connect with more women and hopefully find a support system that way.  Michael and I will figure it out.  

--------------

Okay, enough questions.  I'll do more of those occasionally.  Here is one more picture of the first thing I bought for Peanut.  I wanted to buy something special after my 12 week appointment as a gift for Peanut and for myself that this is real and exciting and fun!

It is a cloth book with dark contrast for a little baby and a little monkey rattle/blanket, for my little wiggle monkey.  Thank you Lord for blessing us with this little miracle.