Mommy Rant

This is my own personal mommy rant.  I just wanted to vent a few of my current frustrations, share some of the lessons I've learned, and dispel any myths some of you may have about having a baby. :-)  So this post has three parts, VENT, LESSONS, MYTHS.  Enjoy. I'm sure I'll think of more right after I hit publish.

VENT:

• Why are the baby wipes always out when you need them!
• Carson, what is the difference between me holding you and walking, and holding you and standing?  Really son, I'm tired and my pretty rug has a pathway walked through it. 
• I am sooooo tired.  I really miss sleep. This one everyone told us about, but you don't fully understand until you have a baby.
• Why don't mom's have more hands?  Seriously, I need at least three. 
• I hate pumping, and I always will.  Talk about something so boring and awkward.  You just sit there while this thing sucks life out of your boobs.  I love breastfeeding, but hate pumping.
• Back to point three!  I need three hands when I pump because you cannot do a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g to take your mind off the fact you are pumping all your hands are occupying various pumping equipment.
• Speaking of breastfeeding, I miss that my breasts used to belong to me.  They definitely belong to someone else, and it gets tiring dealing with milk everywhere, plugged ducts, engorgement, etc.
• The time change has always sucked.  It sucks double now with a baby. They do not understand the concept. 
• Why are you crying???  (can be applied to baby or mom, depending on the circumstance)
• If my baby is so sleepy, why won't it sleep!  AGH!
• Stop calling me crazy for using cloth diapers.  It is not that gross. 
• It is so hard to breastfeed in normal clothes!  And nursing clothes are so expensive!
• I wish my baby could tell me what hurts.  I'm not a mind reader!
• How can you be sleeping so peacefully in my arms, but the second I lay you down...

LESSONS:

1. No one every told me about how much my capacity to love would be stretched.  I never knew I could love something so much that also brings me so much stress and worry.  
2. When people consistently tell you that you and your husband's relationship come first, don't shrug it off and say, "well, we won't have that problem post baby." Yes you will, and you won't even realize it until you have your first argument.  Make time for each other!!  No matter what. 
3. Having your first baby is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, both physically and emotionally.  It is amazing though to look back on how far we have come and to realize that this is a HUGE learning experience for the whole family.  I can see how the subsequent kids are so much easier, there are so many things you know!
4. Your baby may poop in the bathtub, it is okay, just change the water and proceed to clean the baby all over again. 
5. Sleep deprivation makes you do crazy things, and say crazy things, and feel crazy things...
6. If someone offers to watch your baby, take them up on it!!! Do not just thank you and walk away, make a date right then and there.  :-)
7. You will get sick more often after you have a baby because you are so tired and drained from lack of sleep and breastfeeding.  Plus side is your baby gets the antibodies from you being sick though. 
8. It is okay to not know what to do, do the best you can and try really hard not to beat yourself up about it.
9. The internet will be your best friend and worst enemy. 
10. You do not have to do everything your doctor or pediatrician says. 
11. The days are so long, but just repeat, "I'm going to miss this." when you snuggle your baby as they fall to sleep.  Even if they have been crying in your ear all day.  Because you will, even if you don't think you will.  

MYTHS:

• Your doctor, mom, colleague, friend, etc knows the best way to handle the situation. Myth, They don't, YOU do.  Each baby is unique and does not respond the way other baby's might.     
• Your life is over after a baby, this is half true.  Life as you knew it was over, but a different life begins. 
• "It is so hard to leave the house with a baby, we never go anywhere."  This is a myth for us, my baby is happier when we leave our house...
• You will be yourself six weeks post baby.  WRONG, I finally feel like more of my self at 15 weeks postpartum, but not completely.  When I feel I am back to being myself for real, I will let you know. 
•  You can get your body back after baby if you really try.  Myth for me!  I may be able to fit into some of my pre-pregnancy clothes, but my body shape has shifted a little. So much changes when you are pregnant. 
• Breastfeeding is easy and natural.  HOLY FREAKING COW, breastfeeding is hard!  The first go round anyway.  Make sure you understand how to feed your baby BEFORE you leave the hospital.  And be educated on the changes that occur and about things such as mastitis, thrush, etc so that you can stop/spot them before they get worse.  
• Fussy babies are all from how mothers parent.  Not sure if this is a myth.  I feel like I have tried to be laid back about parenting, but my baby is pretty darn fussy. 
• You can nap when your baby naps.  Uh, have you even tried to sleep next to a newborn?  They make so much noise when they sleep, and I got a cat napper.  Yeah, no naps round here for mom.  (you may get a good napper, but if you don't, don't think something is wrong with you or your baby)
• Birth is beautiful and natural, Myth.  Birth is pretty darn gross, albeit it is natural.  It is such a violent way to come into the world, both for mom and baby.  Will I do it again, yes, but it is not like anything you can ever understand or expect unless you have been through it.