Where's the Fun(k) Stuff?

This is how we feel too.  That lately this blog has just been a place for me to vent, not share any of our adventures.  Well, we haven't really been able to take any, but that needs to change!  Despite all that may be going on, we can still have fun and just enjoy life, which is what we are trying to do.

Michael and I have been actively trying to turn our focus out.  God has been working in our hearts that yes, this season of our lives is rough, and yes, it is busy.  Yes, we are sleep deprived, and it is stressful, but this is LIFE!  And we are missing out if we keep our eyes turned inward on our family and OUR needs.  There is a whole big world out there.

God has been reaching out to me with the promises of "my yoke is light, Sara, give it to me" and "my strength is made perfect in your weaknesses."  For the FIRST time in my life (I am almost ashamed of this) I understand these verses.  I know what they mean and I understand the gravity of the Lord's promises.  Carson may never outgrow his allergies or his eczema, but God is unchanging and he will give me the strength to carry on.  He already has!  More and more over the weekend my eyes were opened to God's goodness in all areas of my life, the first being...

My amazing family

I am blessed with an amazing husband and adorable son. I am blessed to be able to attend church on Sunday. I have a house to live in, food on the table, and friends and family to share these things with.  I have a good job and Carson has a good nanny.  We have been provided with all we need (notice I said need, not want :-).  

Because folks, life is hard.  Being sleep deprived is hard.  Eating only six foods for seven days is hard (I started another elimination diet, the Dr's don't think Carson's colitis or eczema are food related so I decided to give him one last shot to pin down any allergies, if any. The Doctor's basically said, be free, nothing you are going to do is going to help, formula probably won't help either, he's just sensitive). Working with only 5 hrs of sleep a night is hard.  Listening to your son scream for 20 min is hard, and having no idea what is wrong.  Being a mom is hard.  But you know what is getting harder?  Ignoring the call from the Lord on my heart, the call that I am too wrapped up in the "now" and that Michael and I need to reach out more. 

Want to hear a great God story, again.  Because we all need little reminders of just how BIG our God really is.  Michael and I went to a crab boil on Saturday hosted by our old church in Lakewood. We hadn't seen many of these people in well over a year and none of them had met Carson, so they were all excited for us to come.  Carson didn't nap in the car like he was supposed to before we go there (hour drive), so when we arrived he was already overtired.  He was also hungry, so the first thing I did was feed him in the car.  When we tried to take him out to meet everyone, he was fussy and just crying at all the people, he is not really used to large crowds like this, there was probably 60+ people there. I was emotionally and physically drained. Carson was fussy,  not sleeping, and I was hungry!  I had started an elimination diet on Monday, only consisting of turkey, grapes, apples, pears, carrots, and zucchini in one last attempt to try to clear up Carson's terrible eczema and seemingly upset tummy.  I wanted to eat at the crab boil.  I wanted a piece of chocolate cake and a beer.  I wanted to show off my laid back, easy baby that sleeps through the night.  I didn't really want to be there, surrounded by all the food and drink I couldn't have, surrounded by all the kiddos who don't have any allergies (if you have eczema, you are almost guaranteed to have other allergies, we are going to have to test Carson when he is older).  I was pretty much a wreck and I was tired of people telling me I looked tired.  Heck yes I looked tired, because my kid wakes up every 2-3 hrs thank you very much.  But God met me there, in the form of a woman named Mary.  Now Mary will never read this, nor will she probably know how God used her that day, but He did.  Mary ran a support group in her home for women with issues just like me and my baby.  Women whose baby's have blood in their diapers, or severe reflux, or any other gastro disease. She had walked where I was, telling me of stories of tears as her son couldn't seem to tolerate any food in her diet, to switching him to formula, only for him to stop eating altogether and become failure to thrive.  So much so that his brain stopped growing.  Stories of elimination diet after elimination diet, to finally figuring out his allergies.  Stories of ladies bonding together over what they all had to eliminate and finding one snack to share that they could all eat together and be normal.  Stories of being so hungry that she just wanted to give up, just wanted to cheat, and just wanted things to be different.  Once again, just like with Carson's creation, God reached down and picked me up.  He led me to the valley of still waters, He met me WHERE I WAS AT, in that horrible mood.  I feel like I have so many of these stories building up in my life.  They are like Ebeneezer stones I can look back on and see the hand of God. 

God used that crab boil to change both Michael and I.  He worked a miracle in both of our hearts that day. You see, Michael decided to support me in this elimination by walking through it with me.  I didn't want him to do the full elimination, because it technically isn't healthy (you start to add things back in quickly after you see results).  So we just had him do the Whole30 program basically, which is he cut out all grains, dairy, legumes, and sugar.  So he is basically eating what I eat, meat, fruit, and veggies, except he can eat nuts and seeds.  But going to that crab boil was hard for him.  He couldn't have beers with the guys, he couldn't have any of the sides or desserts and he really was struggling with it when we first got there.  I mean think about it, it is like going to your favorite restaurant with all your friends and not being able to eat anything there, and just watching everyone else eat. He wanted to leave, "this is not any fun" that is how we both felt.  But after I spoke with Mary and I met back up with Michael, God had spoken to his heart that, fellowship, means much more than food.  Food is for sustenance and if we are letting food and drink dictate our moods or our health, it is way too much of an idol in our lives.  We both had a great afternoon as we sipped water and Michael ate only crab and veggies and I ate my packed turkey burger, carrots and grapes. And I am still just amazed at the work God has performed my husband's heart.  To hear him being heckled by friends that he can't have a drink and being STRONG enough to fight for me and abstain just for me, only to give me some support, so that I don't feel alone.  Wow.  God is so good.   

 So thank you all for your patience as I walked through that difficult time.  It does not mean that more difficult times are not ahead, but I know my God is bigger than my current situation.  God will carry us through, God WILL sustain us.  To finally, fully, believe and understand this has been one of the biggest blessings of my life and I am so thankful that God has brought me to this place, even though I had to wade through a lot of muck and tears to get here.  

I can't wait to see what the Lord is going to do with our lives.  Or how He is going to work.  And for those of you going through rough times in there, hang in there.  Seasons of life are just that, seasons.  And sometimes seasons last longer than we'd like, but they do always change and/or end. 

Stay tuned for some photos of Carson's first pool party.  Pretty cute.  :-)