End of Summer

I don't know why but I consider the end of summer to be the end of july. I guess I know that August means school. I'm excited and I'm not. Excited for something to do, to be able to again contribute to the bills, to be around other people, to get to learn some hopefully cool stuff, but to be honest, I was very ready to be done with school. As I'm sitting here writing I realized it was never resolved...the fact I have no FREAKING idea what to do with my life!

I'm torn. Of course I want to be a good wife and the Lord's servant, but I have to do something while I'm on this earth. I would like to do something I enjoy. I have these two conflicting views. There is the "its just a job, do it and then enjoy the other parts of you life, that is really your life." Then there is the view "you need to do something you enjoy and love, you need to not dread going to work every day." I'm starting a Master's program in three weeks that I really don't have any intention of making a career out of. Everyone says to find your strengths, and combine it with something you love. I've never minded working, really, but why all of a sudden do I feel this pressure! 

I'm told by 40 year olds that they still don't know what they want to do, which makes me think this is a normal feeling for humans. Wouldn't it be awesome for God to just tell us what we are supposed to do? And why does it seem like what you want to do, you can't get the job or the job doesn't pay? Take my husband for example...he is working in a decent job, it pays all right, but he does not enjoy it, but it pays the bills. The job he had before, that he loved, didn't pay at all! Why is this? Michael loves bikes and I would love for him to have a career in bikes, but that doesn't seem to really be an option where we can make it by, unless I have a great job. I know I could probably, hopefully, land a high paying Industrial Hygiene job with my Masters, but it really isn't what I want. I would be doing it for the money. 

I just read an awesome book by Max Lucado called "The cure for the Common Life." It is a great book! It talks about how God does have a plan for what we are supposed to do and it comes in our passions. He created us "pre-wired" to like/dislike certain things. It kind of walks you through how to find what you love and do it. My only qualm with the book is it helps you find what you love, but doesn't help you find how to get paid doing it. :-)

I'm not griping, it just helps sometimes to get our thoughts out of our heads, and visible before our eyes. I know what I love, I love serving, I love being a wife, I loved being psuedo-mom to my brother and sister, I love building things, I love baking, I love being outside, I love my husband, and I love God. The greatest of these is love...right? If we have that, we can go far.