2 Corinthians 1:3-4

This verse was made alive for me today, just how much God comforts us, comes after us, and wants to be with us. If you are like me, you forget this. You feel like God is this abstract being that doesn't make much sense sometimes, is either just distant, or is standing over you with a whip ready to crackdown when you mess up, or desire to behave in a way contrary to His teaching. I hope maybe this post can be an encouragement to you if you are in that place or have been.

I'm not a perfect person. I know we all like to pretend that we are perfect, our lives are perfect, our spouses are perfect, our finances are perfect, children, family, etc. Truth is, we (specifically "I") know we aren't. But that doesn't stop us from seeing someone else's seemingly perfect life and wishing for a second that it was us.

Lately I've been having a rough time. I'm not sure what is kosher to share on a blog, especially since I know people don't want to hear about personal stuff sometimes, but I'm not going to pretend to be "perfect." Michael has been very busy with school and work, leaving me to my own devices and finding stuff to do for myself. Stress always plays little games with people's attitudes, in not a good way, and it has been playing a lot with both of us lately. This is in no way his fault alone, but we are learning together how this time of our lives is going to work. And lets just say that me, alone, is not a good thing. I struggle with depressive tendencies, I literally check out. When I fall in this area, it is hard to get out. See, not perfect, but saved by Christ.

This week has been hard. Differing opinions, short amounts of time, deadlines, loneliness, all of these combine to a final breaking point. The perfect place for Christ to come and get you. Last night was especially bad, culminating for me in frustrating dreams. I don't know about you, but I dream when i am upset. Have you ever had the dreams that you can't get away? No matter how hard you try you are powerless. Then you finally resign yourself that it won't change, you can't get away, and you sit and wait for whatever is after you in the dream to come and get you? Then you wake up right when that thing/person comes around the corner. Its depressing! You wake up feeling powerless and alone. Michael had to take off early this morning to go to with people from work to ride mountain bikes, I find myself once again, alone, looking ahead at a day of me again being alone. (I want to quickly add that I am not looking for a pity party. I do recognize that I can go out and find things to do for myself and have a great day, but when you are already feeling a little absent, you don't think of this right away.)

Anyway, to the moral of this story. I decide to go to Gibbs bagels and get a bagel for breakfast and come home to eat it with coffee, because I am slightly depressed none of my friends are awake at 7:30am to get a bagel with me. I grab my coupon for my free bagel and drive there. I'm standing in line, waiting to pay and for my bagel to come out, and the lady at the counter won't take my coupon. "use it again," she says, "the lady in front of you wanted to buy your bagel." I turn and there is a lady standing there and she says,"you look like a student and I remember what it was like to be in school, I'm so glad that I am not a student anymore. I wanted to make your friday. Have a happy friday! Can I get you anything else?" I'm floored, literally floored because the first thing that I felt was my heart being pulled on. Right then I remember everything that God has told me, how He will never leave me, He will give me strength, I can trust him in the chaos, and that He is not abstract, or static, does care about my little problems/feelings and is not far away. I thank this woman profusely and then come back to my house with my bagel, where I am now writing this post.

Some of you may say this was a coincidence, that it was just a nice lady doing a nice thing, but I beg to differ. While I still believe she was a nice lady (duh!), I also believe that God uses people on this earth. We are the hands and feet, remember? I can't share exactly all that was in my head on the ride there, or the night before, but some of the things the lady said just corresponded directly with certain notions or feelings that I had been struggling with, really solidifying that God was there and reaching out. God is faithful, He loves us, and we don't have to be perfect or have our lives completely in order to serve Him. I hope this story will brighten your day and give you encouragement. I also hope that you don't stop reading this post or think less of me because of my imperfections. Today I can go out now and remember who I live for and that I don't have to just resign myself to never being able to change anything, or "not get away." And that I can take this comfort I have been given, and pass it on.

2 Corinthians 1:4 " (3) Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all of our comfort, (4) who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves received from God."