Looking forward...and back

I am almost at the end.  I wanted to make a little memory post of some of the things that I loved about being pregnant and some things that frustrated me.  Michael and I would like to have more than one child.  So there is a good possibility I will be pregnant again, but it all won't be so new and crazy.

What I loved about being pregnant:

• My belly!  I love just sitting and looking at it while Peanut is moving around, and poking him/her back.  :-) 
• The anticipation, it has been like knowing you are getting an amazing present at Christmas all year long!  Many a thought has been pondered wondering what this little being will look like, what it will like, dislike, or act like!
• Seeing babies in stores or on playgrounds, laughing and playing with their parents.  Michael and I could just share an excited glance.  We are so excited to meet our child.  We can't wait to take them to the park, or develop some fun family traditions around the holidays, or take them on their/our first adventure (we have no idea what that will be yet). 
• My body.  As much as I am worried about getting my body back, I have to admit that I admire my body right now.  There is something so beautiful about what my body has done.  I actually like the way I look, even if I do look like a beached whale.  :-)  Ask me this again after the baby is born though, I really hope I am able to at least fit back in all the clothes I have!
• All the baby stuff.  It is so adorable. I still tear up when I see cute little clothes and diapers.  I can't wait to kiss our baby's scrunched up face!
• Having everyone take care of you.  I have always been a very self sufficient person.  When I am sick, I take care of myself.  If I needed more money, I got a job.  If something needed to be done, I did it.  And I may have been a slight control freak.  But this pregnancy has taught me so much about just sitting back and just "being," because I cannot control anything really with pregnancy.  Which is a lesson God knew I needed to learn.  Take away my extreme fitness and busy work life and I felt useless and bored, but God showed me there is so much more.  I do like that I can live a bit slower of a life and still be happy. And I love how Michael and I have grown to take care of each other more.  There were things I would have never asked him to help me with or do before, I could handle it, but I have had to lean on him, and him on me.  It has brought us closer. 
• Besides not being able to do extreme fitness, I really could keep doing most other life things I needed to do.  And I really like pampering myself while I was pregnant.  I let myself do prenatal yoga, get some prenatal massages, and get pedicures.  Normally I would not have paid for those things.  
• Not worrying about what I eat.  This was so nice.  I have always been a pretty healthy eater, but I did have to watch how much I ate to maintain my size, or at least compensate by working out.  While I have been pregnant I have been letting myself enjoy some things that I normally wouldn't let myself eat so much of. 

Frustrating things about pregnancy:

• My life ended.  And that was INCREDIBLY frustrating.  I should really say, "my life as I had been living, ended."  I had to stop so many things that I enjoyed!  I think I wrote about this before, but Michael has not had to really change his life at all yet.  I had to stop enjoying a drink with friends and family, I had to stop biking, I had to be careful when hiking because I would all of a sudden hit a wall and couldn't go anymore.  My body used to be a machine that I loved to challenge.  And then I had to stop challenging it so it could create a baby. I couldn't eat things I liked anymore.  I had to be more careful about what I exposed myself too, etc.  And I was pretty liberal during this pregnancy.  I swear, they want pregnant ladies to live in a bubble!
• This has been frustrating for Michael too, because I have been his adventurous partner for four years now.  It has been hard for us to live in another adventurous state and not be able to plan stuff to do on the weekends!  We would have camped more, hiked more peaks, and done some amazing mountain bike excursions (not that we don't love you Peanut!).  Michael has a really hard time sitting around the house, well, we both do and I have been having to do more, and more of that. 
• I gained weight.  And all women will tell you we hate gaining weight.  It took awhile for me to accept it and realize that it was necessary and what my body needed to do.  But I am worried about after baby is born.  I will be really, really sad if I cannot fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes.  My jeans became too small around week 16.  
• It makes your future uncertain and you have to grow up.  Now I am thinking about retirement plans, health insurance, child care, life insurance, and a college saving plan.  :-)  These things needed to happen and be thought about, but Michael and I are realizing how much we are leaving the carefree lives of our younger married days in exchange for security and a family. 
• The crazy dreams.  They are so weird!  And I know they don't mean anything, but depending on the type of dream, I could wake up sad, or anxious, and confused.  And they just. don't. end!  Every time I close my eyes I dream about something weird.  
• Not being able to plan anything.  I am a planner.  I want to plan trips, adventures, heck, what to do on the weekend.  But with this pregnancy, I was just never sure what I was going to be able to handle.  That and we have no idea what having a newborn will be like.  We have received advice all over the place such as, "kids are portable, you can keep doing what you guys like to do" or "you will never sleep again and kiss all your mountain biking, camping days behind."  So we really can't plan anything for the winter like ski trips, or snowshoeing, or family visits because we have no idea what having a baby will be like.