It is seven weeks since I gave birth to Carson. Giving him life was the hardest thing I have ever done. I've run half marathons, climbed 14ers in record time, and generally pushed my body to the limit while mountain bike racing, but birth showed me just how strong I really am. At first I was embarrassed of how I gave birth, that I wasn't strong and silent, but now, I am proud of what I have done. I am strong and it feels good to say that. Although Michael was my rock, if not for him, I'm not sure how much my strength would have sustained me.
I feel like that is such a strong metaphor for Christ. We go though life laboring on our own, but if we let Christ help us, we can go so much longer and be so much stronger than we are on our own. I know this is not a perfect analogy, but it works for me.
So, seven weeks after delivery...how am I doing?
I am doing very well. Those first couple weeks were so trying, but now that Carson has leveled out some and gives me a good stint of sleep at night (4-5 hours), I am doing so much better, physically and mentally. I have been able to really start working out since I got the all clear from my doctor and that has felt wonderful. I can't believe how quickly I am getting back my strength. I hopped on the elliptical in our gym while Carson was sleeping the other day and set it to the regular levels that I had been doing while I was pregnant. It was WAY to easy. I was able to ramp it up significantly and still not feel like I was overdoing it. Although I must have because my body told me to take it easy by giving me mastitis. So I am back to taking it easy.
That being said, I'm sure some people are wondering about my body and if I have been losing the pregnancy weight. I know this is a hot topic and is true. Everyone waits to get a glimpse of postpartum celebrities to see if they look back to normal. I can confess that I have done it after friends have had kids. I was curious to see if they would change or be heavier than before.
First of all, let me say that I want to lose the pregnancy weight, badly. BUT, I am NOT going to let this define me. My body did something amazing, and my body changed, a lot. I can't expect it to be the same as it was before I was pregnant. I am writing this here to remind myself when I get upset about my size or my body.
And my postpartum body is, well, squishy. I feel like this is the best way to describe it. :-) I'm about 7-10 lbs (depends on the time of day) above my pre-pregnancy weight. And my body is definitely not as tight or toned as it was. I lost the pregnancy weight very quickly at first. I believe it was because of nursing. I dropped all the weight except those last 10 lbs in the first three weeks (I had gained 35 lbs total), and have now stabilized. So much so, that it does not seem to matter how much I eat or exercise, the number will not budge. I think those last pounds are going to stick on until I stop nursing. My body must feel like it needs some extra padding to make sure Carson gets enough milk. I've talked to many women who said this happened to them. Which kind of sucks, because it is that last little bit that will let me fit into my pre-pregnancy pants. Boo. I guess I should look into getting some bigger jeans for the time being. I'm starting to get tired of wearing yoga pants out in public.
Sorry there are not any pics. I felt weird posting pictures of myself. Take care everyone. I'll try to get more pics of Carson up soon.
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